


The Last Elysian

by LUCYxLIED



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Danny is too protective, F/F, Gods and Goddesses, Laura has magic but is not a witch, Nonhuman Laura, Other, Protective Carmilla Karnstein, Protective Laura, Vampire Carmilla, human Lafontaine, laura is a badass, magic obviously cause there’s witches, who has amnesia for a bit, will add more tags as the story progresses, witch Perry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:10:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LUCYxLIED/pseuds/LUCYxLIED
Summary: I wanted to write a story about Laura and Carmilla where Laura isn’t human and couldn’t decide on what I wanted her to be so I made up my own race of people and got this story.Laura has a past that she can’t remember. The only things she knows is that:1. She is not human2. Her new roommate is a vampire and3. Weird shit is happening at her school and she needs to figure out what before the world possibly ends.Welcome to Silas university everybody.(I suck at summaries.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am still working on this story but I figured I’d post a couple chapters to see what people think. Let me know any ideas or suggestions or even things you don’t like.

“Good evening gentle viewers of Silas University. My name is Laura Hollis and this my first installation for my video journalism project. And what would be a better way to be a journalist than to none other than solve a mystery. What mystery is there to solve you ask? Well, recently there have been rumors spreading around campus about some of the students here at Silas going missing, including my very own roommate and newly friend, Betty.” Laura looks over to the left side of the room where Betty’s belongings are strewn about, as if she might come back any second. “Well I’m here to tell you that those rumors are true.” 

 

“Two nights ago Betty dragged me out of our dorm to my sheer reluctance, to go to one of the Zeta parties. For those of you who don’t know, Zetas are the universities fraternity and they are all your stereotypical male masculinity types. Which basically means they have more muscles than they do brains.

 

“So Betty and I go to the party and to my surprise we actually have a pretty good time. We are together all night, dancing and drinking until she turns to me and says she needs to find one of her friends and that she would be right back. That was the last time I saw her. I’ve tried talking to police, campus security, teachers, anybody who would listen about a student being missing and nobody seems to care. It’s like everyone has better things to do with their lives than to look for someone who might be hurt or who could be in trouble. No one seems to care enough about the problem, not even our own school who’s supposed to take care of its students.

 

“So I’m going to look for Betty and the other missing students myself, because it’s the right thing to do. I may not have known Betty long, but she doesn’t deserve whatever has happened to her. I just hope that wherever she may be that she is okay.” Laura stops talking as something twinges in her senses right before her door bursts open. 

 

“Uh, Who the hell are you and who gave you permission to enter my dorm?” Laura pauses her video and shouts at the intruder without having turned around from her monitor. 

 

“I’m Carmilla sweetheart, and I’m your new roommate.” The intruder answers as Laura turns around and sees one of the most beautiful women she’s ever seen. Long wavy dark brown hair, clad in attitude and black leather. Laura can practically feel the confidence oozing out of Carmilla’s body, suffocating Laura’s senses. Carmilla could probably get whatever she wanted with a gorgeous body like that, and Carmilla certainly knows it, but she’s never met Laura. Laura knows her type, Laura practically invented Carmilla’s type. The type that gets whatever they want through their looks and seduction. Laura used to be the same way a long time ago. 

 

The other thing that Laura notices right away is that Carmilla is not human. Laura herself isn’t human, so it’s not hard to figure out what Carmilla is. Considering that Laura can’t hear Carmilla’s heartbeat for one, and that the aura surrounding Carmilla is that of a vampire. 

 

What does surprise Laura is the auras color. Most vampires Laura has met, their auras are a dark almost inky black color, but Carmilla’s is close to a grayish purple color. This fact intrigues Laura greatly. So Laura decides to play along with whatever game Carmilla has planned out, just so long as she can uncover the mystery that is this Carmilla. 

 

“I have a roommate, her name is Betty and she’s only been gone for two days. She hasn’t dropped out otherwise why would her stuff still be here?” Laura has been watching as Carmilla ransacks her mini fridge and turns on Laura’s radio to a loud punk rock station. 

 

She’s obviously trying to annoy Laura but to what extent? Did someone send Carmilla here? What’s her game? Is this some kind of act or is she truly just being annoying for the fun of it?

 

“Well where is she then?” Carmilla asks as she drinks one of Laura’s grape sodas and eats her stash of cookies. Laura will get her for that later, nobody eats her cookies. 

 

“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. She’s missing, and for some reason the school thinks this is normal and sends me a new roommate. Don’t you find that a little odd?” Laura is practically baiting Carmilla at this point. Most vampires are hostile at best and easily angered, Laura wants to see if this one is different. Laura secretly wishes to herself that Carmilla is, for reasons she is unclear of. 

 

“That’s not my problem. This is also my room now so you’d better get used to it cupcake.” Carmilla throws her bag onto Betty’s bed and starts going through Betty’s things. She throws what she doesn’t like into a pile on the floor and then lays down onto Betty’s bed like she’s always lived there. 

 

“My name is Laura, not cupcake, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t disrespect my friends things while she is still currently missing.” Carmilla has her eyes shut like she’s going to take a nap and Laura can’t help but be a little amused by her. For a creature of the night, Carmilla relaxes like a feline would after a victorious hunt. Which is probably a more accurate description than one would think. 

 

“If you don’t want me here, then talk to the dean about it, because it’s like I said creampuff, not my problem.” Laura finds herself laughing after holding it back since Carmilla walked into her dorm. Even though Laura’s friend is missing, and there’s a crisis going on at her school, and her new roommate is a vampire, she genuinely laughs for the first time in years. 

 

For hundreds of years people have treated her either in awe of her abilities or like she’s so fragile that she cold break any second. And this vampire, Carmilla, who knows nothing about her, is treating her with annoyance and ignorance. Laura is so invigorated to know what that feels like after so long. One of the reasons why Laura asked to go to Silas in the first place was to try to feel normal for once in her long life. 

 

After growing up, well in Laura’s case not aging, in a witch coven that basically worships the ground Laura walks on, everything stops feeling normal. The only normal thing she had in her town were her best friends, Perry and Lafontaine. When Laura decided she wanted to leave they immediately jumped at the chance of going with her. To live somewhere without witches and constant reminders of the supernatural. 

 

One thing Laura has learned so far at Silas is that nothing is ever normal. Anywhere Laura goes there will always be something to remind her of who she really is. Even after being at this school for only a week now, her roommate has gone missing, nobody cares at all about this fact, and her new roommate is a vampire. And the only thing that has felt even remotely normal is said vampire treating her like a common human, with disdain and reluctance. For once Laura actually feels human and she’s honestly never felt better. 

 

When Laura finally stops laughing she can see Carmilla looking at her like she’s lost her mind from where she is still laying on Betty’s bed. 

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just refreshing.” Carmilla is still looking at her strangely. “I haven’t laughed in so long I almost forgot what it felt like.” Laura can tell that Carmilla is secretly trying to figure out what Laura means by that. Laura obviously doesn’t trust Carmilla yet, so she won’t reveal anything about herself until Laura knows what Carmilla’s true intentions are. 

 

Laura may find Carmilla intriguing and mysterious, but if she is responsible for the missing students or endangers the lives of her friends, Laura won’t hesitate to destroy her. Family means more to Laura than anyone could possibly understand, and Laura’s friends are her family. No one threatens that and lives to tell the tale. Laura may not remember who she really is or what she is but she wouldn’t have survived mentally without the coven and her friends. 

 

After a long silence of the two of them closely regarding one another, Carmilla finally closes her eyes again to resume her catnap. 

 

“You are a strange one buttercup.” Laura is starting to find Carmilla’s nicknames kind of endearing if not a little insulting. 

 

“I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different than yours.” Laura finally stands from her desk chair and glides to her bed to sit on it with her back against the wall. Silently watching as Carmilla rests on Betty’s bed. Laura secretly challenges Carmilla to a game of verbal chess hoping that she’ll take the bait. 

 

Laura sees one of Carmilla’s perfectly shaped eyebrows rise and the side of her mouth twitch at her comment. Laura smirks to herself. Let the games begin. 

 

“Lewis Carroll, really? And how exactly would you say your reality differs from mine cupcake?” Carmilla takes Laura’s bait and Laura couldn’t be more excited. The opinion of another immortal is something that Laura lacks in her undying life. Laura is the only immortal in her coven and no one understands her there, not truly. She may gain friends to talk to or have the Hollis family that adopted her, but they will always feel like children to her. Children that lack the potential to contemplate her very nature. The amount of knowledge that one can gain as an immortal is vastly different to the amount a human gains in their short life. So Laura is thrilled to finally have someone to talk to who can actually understand the things she says. 

 

Laf and Perry are her bestfriends but even they don’t fully comprehend the fact that even though Laura looks like them, she is exceedingly different from them. Laura finds that she is unbothered by the fact that she has more in common with an undead vampire than a human and a witch. 

 

“I’ve always believed that everyone’s life is their own reality. They live the way they live, they die the way they die. Who am I to say that my life is better or worse than someone else’s? I don’t know them or their circumstances, their reality is their own and no one else’s. Just like yours is your own, and mine is my own. So I may be strange to you, but to me I am just simply different than you. So I’ll continue to live the way I live and then I’ll die the way I die.” Laura smiles sadly at this. Laura has watched so much life and death her whole life. Not knowing what that would feel like for herself. Dying is a gift and a privilege that humans take for granted. Death is easy, living is much harder. 

 

Laura looks up at Carmilla and can see her sitting on the edge of Betty’s bed, regarding her with something that resembles fascination. 

 

“Who are you?” Carmilla asks. Laura smiles at her and stretches her arm out towards Carmilla. 

 

“I’m Laura Hollis and who are you?” Carmilla looks at Laura’s outstretched hand for a bit and then returns Laura’s gesture. Carmilla’s hand is warm for someone who is an undead creature of the night. And somehow Laura is not surprised by this at all. 

 

“I’m Carmilla, Carmilla Karnstein.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura meets Danny and they begin to investigate together.

“Good evening viewers, this is an update on the progress of my investigation into the disappearances that have been happening here on campus. Not only has Betty been missing for a week now, but everyone I’ve spoken to who was at the party that night, didn’t see any sign of her at all. Every thing I’ve tried to do to find Betty has been a dead end. No witnesses, no trail, no evidence, it’s almost like Betty never existed at all. I’d almost think I’d imagined her if her stuff wasn’t still in our dorm. Speaking of dorms, I was assigned a new roommate only two days after Betty’s disappearance and let me tell you, she is the roommate from hell. 

 

“She eats all my food, never cleans up any of her messes, and she’s even been wearing some of Betty’s clothes! Betty likes her pink and sparkles and she doesn’t own anything in black and trust me, Carmilla likes to wear black. So why Carmilla feels the need to wear Betty’s clothes, I’ll never know.” These things don’t really bother Laura too much, but she’s so used to acting like a human by now that it’s become second nature to her. There are rules she created for herself when she isn’t living in the coven. Laura can be anyone she wants in the presence of humans, except be herself. Laura envies Carmilla, in that even though she is a vampire, nobody expects her to be anything but who she is. Laura isn’t lying in her video about Carmilla, she is a lazy vampire who makes messes and has a knack for uncleanliness. 

 

Laura hasn’t seen much of Carmilla since their first introduction, but any time they are in the dorm together it’s always full of snarky banter between them. Laura would be lying if she said she was annoyed by it, but truly Laura finds their verbal sparring matches to be the highlight of her day. 

 

In the past anytime Laura would make a sarcastic or snarky comment to someone at the coven, the witches wouldn’t banter with her. Laura is basically a sovereign deity to them, mostly for the fact that she supposedly helped establish the coven alongside the founder and also that she is immortal. 

 

Laura can only remember up to a certain point of her long life. Anything about her origin or who she really is was hidden away by the founder of the coven. Laura was told that she herself, before her memory was wiped, set up a contingency plan with the founder in case various things ever happened to her. One of those various things being memory loss. So even though Laura can’t remember anything about her past, she doesn’t actively try to find out because if her own self didn’t want her to know then who is she to question herself? 

 

Laura once asked the coven why she might have not wanted to regain her memory. The coven basically told her that any kind of memory spell is the trickiest to cast because everyone’s mind is different. Someone could easily damage what’s in a persons mind by trying to fix it. The only way that Laura knows how to break a memory spell is by fixing it herself and since Laura has no memory on how it happened she doesn’t risk trying. 

 

“There is something weird going on here at Silas and I think the school might be ignoring it. After two days of Betty being missing they assign me a new roommate as if they already knew she was going to go missing. Her stuff is still here, I can’t even reach her parents cause the cell reception at Silas is basically from the Stone Age meaning that there is none, and my annoying roommate keeps eating all my cookies!” This part about Carmilla is true. Laura swares that Carmilla steals them just to annoy her. Laura knows vampires don’t actually need to eat food, so eating Laura’s cookies is just Carmilla’s way of showing Laura the finger. 

 

Sure Laura and Carmilla have been on somewhat decent terms, but cookie stealing? That’s a low blow in Laura’s book. 

 

“Anyways, moving on from the cookie stealing terrible roommate. As the next part of my investigation, I’ve decided to go back to the zeta house to try and see if I can find out whoever this mysterious friend is that Betty was supposed to find. With any luck I can figure out their identity. I just hope no one else goes missing, otherwise this will get a lot worse before it gets better.” Laura can sense someone approaching her sense radius, heading towards her dorm. She shuts off her computer and prepares for a visitor. 

 

Living in a witch coven was very useful for someone who possesses magic like Laura because they can learn a couple tricks that help them stay safe. One of those tricks is what Laura likes to call her sense radius. 

 

Decades ago Laura created a way for her to expand her senses into a sphere that projects from her body. So that when anyone and anything that walks in or approaches that sphere Laura can automatically sense them. Most witches that Laura has taught to use this can only project their sphere a couple of feet or so from themselves depending on their level of power. Laura has no such limit, she can project it however far she wants and even keep it there without having to think about it. There’s only one witch who’s ever come close to Laura’s power but she doesn’t use her powers anymore. Laura can understand not wanting to use something that is deemed as evil by most species. 

 

One of the reasons why the witches in her coven are so amazed by Laura is because of her seemingly limitless amount of magic. Most witches have limitations because they are either born a witch or a human who was later taught magic. A born witch is more powerful than a taught witch depending on the coven they preside in. Laura is from the Perry witch coven, the most powerful coven known in the supernatural world. It is also the most secretive, for only the people who are in the coven know where it is located. Laura helped the original Perry witch create this coven, even though she can’t remember doing so. For all of Laura’s power and limitless magic, she still can’t bring herself to tamper with her own mind. Laura’s always believed that her memory will return on its own, when she most needs it. 

 

Pretending to be writing in her notebook, someone then surprisingly knocks softly on her door. Usually people just tend to walk right into her and Carmilla’s room without permission. So this is definitely a new one for Laura. 

 

“You may enter.” Laura shouts to her still closed door. She then turns around and in walks none other than the TA, Danny, from her literature class. Laura has only seen her a few times but they have never officially met. Why is she at Laura’s dorm of all places? Danny walks into her dorm and stands awkwardly by her doorway. 

 

“Hi I’m sorry to bother you, but I’ve wanted to officially introduce myself to you all week. I’m Danny Lawrence.” She seems to want to move closer but decided against it and continues to stand awkwardly by the door. 

 

“No offense Danny Lawrence, but why did you come all the way to my dorm room to introduce yourself?” A long time ago Laura probably would’ve tried to seduce this Danny. She’s tall with long bright red hair and brilliant green eyes, exactly the type Laura would’ve gone for. But every time Laura has tried to be with someone it never made it farther than attraction. Even though Laura has no memory of past lovers, she always feels an ache in her heart whenever she thinks of trying to love someone. Like Laura’s heart remembers someone that Laura herself has no memory of. After a really bad incident with one of the witches in her coven, Laura has stopped trying to love, because her heart is locked and there’s no key to open it. 

 

“I’ve heard people talk about how you’ve been looking into your roommates disappearance and I thought that maybe I could help you.” Danny says hopefully. 

 

“And why would you want to help when no one else seems to care?” Laura may seem harsh in saying this but she’s completely over everyone’s indifference towards the whole thing. Laura may not like to grow attachments towards humans but she also knows when someone needs help that you should help them, even if it’s a lost cause. Especially when it’s a lost cause. 

 

“Because my sorority sister and best friend Elsie, has been missing since last night and I think you can help me find her.” Laura was afraid of this. So far there’s only been three missing students including Betty, now Elsie makes four. Whatever is happening at this school is starting to escalate. 

 

Laura sighs and smiles sadly at Danny and waves her further into her room. This’ll probably be a long night. 

 

“Have a seat and tell me everything you know about what happened to your friend last night.”

 

——————————————

 

Hours later after the sun had long past it’s zenith, Laura and Danny have a basic idea of what happened to both of their friends. Laura had turned on her video camera on her computer to document their information gathering.

 

“Okay so basically what we have so far is that both Betty and Elsie were party girls, who went to find a friend at the party they were attending and then after going to meet said friend they disappear. So this mysterious friend of theirs must be the one taking these students. So our obvious questions are who is this friend and why are they taking students?” Danny summarizes what they have written down the past few hours. Laura can tell that Danny is a loyal person, especially considering her aura is a deep green color, but that can also be a very bad thing. The last thing Laura needs is Danny developing feelings towards her while they are investigating. People with green auras tend to become very possessive and jealous towards those they like or have affections for. Laura knows she’ll have to tread carefully with this one. 

 

“I wouldn’t jump to that conclusion so quickly. Yes, it seems to be the obvious conclusion but we need more facts or some kind of proof before delivering blame. Was there anyone who was at both parties that might have seen something that we both missed?” Laura asks Danny trying to ignore the fact that Danny has been silently staring at her all night. 

 

“Other than drunken frat boys and tipsy sorority sisters, whom I doubt remember anything from those nights, there were some alchemy students at the party the other night. I’m not sure why they were there considering most of them are always living in their labs. I could go ask them if they saw anything?” Danny suggests and Laura’s not sure if that’ll actually help them at all but it’s something they didn’t have before, an objective. 

 

“That’s a good idea, even a little bit of information is better than nothing.” Laura stands from her bed and goes to pack up their notes and she can sense that Carmilla is close to their dorm. Once Laura has a sense for someone she can always tell when they are close to her, Carmilla now being one of those people. 

 

“We can discuss more after you’ve talked to them, see if they actually saw anything or not, my roommate should be here soon and she’s not exactly the best at getting along with people. So we should wrap this up for now.” By the time Laura finishes talking Carmilla opens the door (she obviously used super speed to get here) and then she stops when she notices Laura isn’t alone. Carmilla has a smirk growing on her face and Laura knows she’s about to go into what Laura likes to call her default Carmilla mode. Laura has learned that Carmilla has two kinds of smirks, the first one being her playful smirk she uses on Laura while they banter, and the other is the one she uses when she’s trying to be hurtful to other people. This particular smirk is the latter. 

 

“Oh I hope I’m not interrupting your study date cupcake.” Laura knows Carmilla isn’t sorry at all if anything when she looks closer Carmilla almost seems sad. Wherever Carmilla just came from she probably didn’t have a good time. “Who knew that big red here would be your type?” Carmilla resumes her strut to the mini fridge where she once again starts eating Laura’s food. Laura really needs to hide her food better. 

 

“If you really wanted to interrupt us, then you should’ve arrived hours ago, the studying was so intense then. Who knows maybe we would’ve let you join us?” Laura makes sure to put emphasis on the word studying. Laura can see Danny’s face turning bright red at her insinuating that they were doing anything more than just talking. Damn, Laura hopes she doesn’t give Danny the wrong idea about them. 

 

Carmilla’s smirk now turns into her playful one and Laura’s glad that she seems to be slowly coming out of her default mode. 

 

“Trust me buttercup, you couldn’t handle me.” Laura almost breaks character and laughs at that. Carmilla has no idea who she is dealing with. 

 

Laura turns back towards Danny who is watching Laura like a hawk still, Laura sighs to herself. 

 

“Sorry Danny looks like our group dates will still only be you and me.” Laura flashes Danny her famous Laura Hollis smile, at least that’s what Laf likes to call it. 

 

“Um yeah okay, that’s alright, I have to head out now.” Danny stands from Laura’s bed and puts their notes into a pile on her blanket. “I’ll let you know what I find out from the alchemy kids. Goodnight Laura.” Danny gives her a shy smile and quickly leaves the dorm, shutting the door behind her. 

 

Laura finally sheds her human act and lets out a deep breath of air. Pretending to be human all day can get exhausting. She picks up the papers that Danny left and places them on her desk. Then she goes back to the bed and drops onto her mattress, laying her head on her bright yellow pillow and closing her eyes. Laura knows that Carmilla is watching her, but Laura is unaffected by it. If Carmilla wants to ask her something then Laura can be patient and she’ll wait for her to ask it. 

 

“You act differently around other people, why?” Laura is unsurprised by this question. If anything she wonders why Carmilla hasn’t mentioned it sooner. Since they met, Carmilla has been the only person who has talked to the real Laura Hollis. Not the Laura Hollis that everyone else at Silas university sees. Even Laura’s friends only see a part of her true self because they can’t relate with who she is. Carmilla Is like Laura, immortal and prone to getting bored at the mundaneness of human society. Laura doesn’t have to put on an act for Carmilla and Laura never will. 

 

“I am myself and yet I am not. For who am I but me, and me is not I. I can only be me with me, until I am no longer I. People see what they want to see, so I give them what they want. On my own I am me, but to everyone else I am I.” Laura never really has been very good at explaining her actions to people. She has always been two separate people. The Laura that the people want and the Laura that she wishes she could be all the time, the Laura that she is with Carmilla. 

 

“Why me? Why be yourself with only me?” Laura can hear a little bit of insecurity in Carmilla’s voice. She opens her eyes and looks over to where Carmilla is sitting on her bed with her back to the wall facing Laura. Carmilla’s eyes are guarded and Laura understands why. 

 

“Because you see me and not I.” Laura smiles sadly at Carmilla. Laura just hopes one day that Carmilla will trust her enough to also be herself with her. “Goodnight Carm.” The nickname is new but Laura likes it. 

 

Laura rolls over facing her wall to try and rest her mind. After a little while Carmilla replies back barely in a whisper. 

 

“Goodnight Laura.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura has a nightmare and then seeks advice from her friends

Blood rain pours onto the soaked earth at Laura’s pounding feet. Her breath comes out in rapid puffs of air. The rain obscuring her vision as she runs to try and catch something. Laura doesn’t know what it is that she is chasing, but she just keeps running and running. All the while the rain keeps pouring, dripping into her eyes and drenching the armor that she’s wearing. Laura has never worn armor before, but it feels comfortable on her, like a second skin. 

 

Someone’s voice crashes around her like thunder shaking the earth and Laura can’t make out any of the words but they fill her veins with dread. Laura needs to get there faster, she needs to run faster. Her heart is pounding in her chest and the echoes are reverberating in her ears. 

 

Faster. 

 

Laura can’t see anything while the blood rain crashes down upon her. 

 

Faster. 

 

Coldness seeps into her skin, into her bones, and into her heart. 

 

Faster. 

 

Laura knows she’s getting closer. She’s so close, so close... 

 

Faster. 

 

Blood everywhere, darkness everywhere. In her eyes, in her mouth, blood, nothing but blood. Her feet still run. 

 

Faster. 

 

The thunderous voice laughs mockingly through the storm. Laura needs to go faster. As the rain continues Laura sees the blurry outline of something in the distance, knowing it’s what she’s been running to. 

 

Faster. 

 

Just as she is about to reach out towards it, someone’s hand thrusts through her chest from behind. Laura chokes on her own blood in her mouth, she looks down at the hand seeing it holding her still rapidly beating heart. The blood rain is mixing with her own blood. Nothing but the color red. 

 

The same voice from before whispers into her ear, “you’re too late.” Followed by more sinister laughter and the hand crushing her heart. 

 

—————————————

 

Laura is shocked awake by someone shaking her shoulders and her instincts automatically kick in. She grabs the unknown person’s wrists and quickly flips them onto their back and threateningly presses her forearm against their throat. Once the haze of Laura’s dream finally leaves her vision she notices it’s Carmilla she has pinned to her bed looking at her in shock. 

 

Laura immediately jumps off her and puts some distance between them, trying to regulate her erratic heartbeat. Her back hits the far wall by Carmilla’s bed and it still doesn’t seem far enough. Laura can’t remember the last time she was this unraveled and she’s probably just outed herself to Carmilla. Vampires are renowned for their strength and she just put one on their back in less than a second. Laura mentally and physically prepares herself for what Carmilla will do next. 

 

“You were having a nightmare, a pretty intense one from the sound of it. I was only trying to wake you up so you wouldn’t hurt yourself.” Carmilla is rubbing her neck and eyeing Laura warily. She hasn’t moved from Laura’s bed, and Laura doesn’t know if it’s in fear of her or if she’s just giving Laura space. Either way Laura needs to leave before she does something else drastic. 

 

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” Laura has never heard her own voice sound this weak before, “and for pinning you to the bed.” Laura’s hands are starting to rub together in nervousness. She’s afraid that she’s ruined whatever truce her and Carmilla have. Not that they are friends but also not exactly enemies. 

 

“I mean if you wanted to be on top that bad cupcake, you could’ve just asked.” Carmilla says coyly and pulls out her playful smirk. Laura looks closely into her eyes and can see the unasked questions but she no longer looks wary of Laura. “But if you want it rough then who am I to deny what a lady wants?” All nervousness leaves Laura’s body and she laughs in relief. Leave it to Carm to know how to ease Laura’s mind. She knows that Carmilla will want some answers but for now she is just glad that Carm isn’t pushing. Laura genuinely smiles at her and Carm gives her a small one back. 

 

“I’m going to get some air,” Laura walks past Carmilla and opens their door, she turns back and sees Carmilla silently watching her,” thanks Carm.” She says quietly and then closes the door after her. Laura makes the short trip down the hall to where she knows she will find the air that she needs. Laura walks up to the familiar door and knocks on it. She waits a couple minutes and then the door slowly opens. 

 

“Something’s happened.” That’s all Laura needs to say before she is abruptly pulled into Perry and Laf’s shared dorm room. Laura has only been here a couple of times since they started school but it’s always the cleanest room Laura has ever seen. Sharing a room with Carmilla makes Laura jealous of Laf for having a neat freak as a roommate. Ever since Perry has stopped using her magic, she’s found that cleaning helps her preoccupy her mind. Laf likes to call it Perry’s nicotine patch, her quick fix. 

 

“What’s happened Laura?” Lafontaine asks her after closing the door and making sure they can’t be overheard. Laf may only be a human, but their inventions are as close to magical as any witches spell. One of those inventions is the sound dampener that makes their voices virtually impossible to hear from outside influence. It’s the scientific way of soundproofing a room, only it can also block out any magic from coming in. 

 

Perry is silently sitting on her bed holding onto the talisman around her neck that dampens her powers. Laura sits next to her and takes Perry’s hand from the necklace and laces their fingers together. Silently reassuring her that everything will be okay even if Laura doesn’t really believe it. Perry gives her a small smile and squeezes her hand in thanks. Laf goes back to their own bed still waiting for Laura to tell them why she’s here so early in the morning. 

 

“I had a dream.” Laura finally tells them. 

 

“Like Martin Luther king Jrs ‘I had a dream’ or you actually had a dream?” Laf asks her trying to comprehend the bomb Laura just dropped on them. 

 

“It was more of a nightmare but yes I actually had a dream for the first time in my life, or at least the life I remember.” Laura always figured that the reason she never dreamed was because of who or what she is but now she’s not so sure. For the first time she’s actually starting to doubt everything she knows about herself, and that’s not much. 

 

“So what happened in this nightmare?” Laura sees Laf pull out their info notepad they keep with them everywhere they go. Laura knows Laf isn’t studying her, it’s just their way of processing information, by writing it down on paper and analyzing it later. 

 

“I was running after something or being chased by someone, I’m not entirely sure which it was, or maybe it was both. There was blood falling from the sky like rain and it covered the entire ground. Everywhere I looked there was blood. I remember that I was wearing some kind of armor and that it felt familiar on me, like it was something I wore everyday. There was a voice that also felt familiar but not in a good way. I could tell that this voice absolutely terrified me and nothing ever terrifies me. 

 

“So I just kept running as fast as I could cause I desperately had to get somewhere. It felt like I knew in my gut something bad was going to happen if I didn’t get to where I was going. I finally saw something in the distance, through the blood rain. I was so close to it, but right before I got there the someone chasing me thrust their arm through my chest and held my heart in their hand. The familiar voice then whispered that I was too late in my ear and crushed my heart. That’s when I woke up.” Laura can still picture every moment from her dream in perfect clarity. She used to envy humans for their ability to dream, but now she wishes she could forget about her own. 

 

“Okay, yeah, cause I never wanted to sleep again.” Laura can see that Laf looks a little pale after the retelling of her nightmare. Perry is also squeezing her hand a bit harder than before. “Normally when a human has a nightmare it’s about their fears or them reliving a horrible memory. With you not being human and never experiencing a nightmare before, It’s hard to say if that’s a memory from your past life or if someone is intentionally doing this to you. I’m leaning more towards an old memory because why else would things feel familiar to you. If it was a fabricated dream then nothing would feel at all familiar.” Laf speculates and scribbles more notes onto the notepad. “The only thing that doesn’t make sense is why now? Even after all these years you haven’t had a single dream, so what is causing you to have one now?” 

 

“It’s this school.” Laura concludes and Laf stops writing to look up at her. 

 

“What do you mean?” They ask. 

 

“Haven’t you noticed that there’s something weird going on at this school? I’ve been looking into the missing students and it’s not like normal human disappearances. Normally there would be evidence, a trail, witnesses, even other humans looking for them, but here there’s none of that. No evidence, no trail, not even a single breadcrumb to follow. Something supernatural is happening here and it’s somehow messing with my mind and bringing up my old memories. I don’t know how and I don’t know why but I’m going to find out.” 

 

“Laura is right,” Perry speaks up for the first time since Laura got to their room. Her and Laf look to Perry for her to continue,”there’s a darkness creeping in the shadows of this school. I didn’t notice it at first but then the other night I could feel it’s presence, almost like it was taunting me.” Perry’s hand shakes a little in Laura’s, so she squeezes it for comfort. 

 

Perry is the strongest witch that’s been born in the coven in centuries. Some say she may even be as powerful as the first Perry witch, but all power comes with temptations. Ten years ago, Perry’s mother was seduced by dark magic and ended up casting a death curse that killed dozens of witches and humans in the coven, including Laura’s adopted mother and Laf’s parents. Perry’s mom tried to influence Perry into using dark magic but she refused and trapped her mother in a spell that allowed Laura enough time to kill her. Perry and Laf were barely kids when this happened but ever since then, Perry refuses to use any of her magic in fear of turning into her mother. So Laura and Laf don’t push her into using something she so clearly fears. Laura created the talisman that hangs on Perry’s neck to help keep her magic sealed, but even with her powers deactivated she can still see and sense things normal humans can’t. 

 

“I’ve never felt something that evil before. I haven’t felt the darkness since that night, but it’s here somewhere and whoever is controlling it is planning something.” Laura knows that Perry is probably trying not to have a mental breakdown right now. 

 

“So the missing students are being taken by some kind of darkness here at the school, do you have any idea why they might have been taken?” Laf is scribbling furiously in their notepad, absorbing as much information as possible. Their investigative mode has just been turned on and Laura knows they will ask her a lot of questions. 

 

“Every case of something supernatural taking humans involves them either being taken for food or for some kind of ritual, a sacrifice or to be turned into into whatever creature took them. Normally with one disappearance I’d say it’s the first option, but with four humans missing now I’d have to lean more towards the second one. And that is what really worries me. If it was just them being taken for food, we would’ve easily been able to figure out the culprit. But if this is some sort of dark ritual, then we need to figure out what it is before whoever is behind this enacts their plan.” Laura has also felt the darkness at this school ever since Betty went missing, even when she walks the campus grounds she can sometimes feel something or someone watching her. Laura doesn’t know if it’s cause they know she is different or if it’s cause they want to take her like the other students. 

 

“What about your roommate?” Laf asks and Laura snaps her eyes to them. 

 

“What about her?” Laura puts her defenses up, wondering why Laf would even bring up Carmilla. 

 

“I mean she’s obviously a vampire, I don’t need to be a witch to see that. What if she’s the one that’s behind all of this?” Laf suggests. 

 

“She’s not.” Laura replies immediately. 

 

“How do you know?” They question her. 

 

“I just do.” Laura bites out harshly. Laura knows she’s being uncharacteristically mean to them so she takes in a slow deep breath to calm herself. “I’m sorry Laf, I know she’s a vampire, but she’s different.” It may seem strange to them for Laura to be defending Carmilla. Laura and Laf have had a somewhat unorthodox relationship with vampires in the past. 

 

“She is different.” Perry cuts into their discussion again. “I’ve seen her aura, as has Laura, it’s unlike one a vampire would normally have. Carmilla may have a darkness in her but it’s not the same one I sensed the other night.” Laura feels Perry squeeze her hand and Laura’s shoulders drop in relief. Perry always has been a good judge of character and the voice of reason in their strange friendship. If Perry says that she believes that it’s not Carm then so will Laf. 

 

“You should probably still ask her if she knows anything. Even if it’s not her taking humans, she might know who is.” Laf says and Laura knows she can’t disagree with them this time. 

 

“I may have already outed myself to her earlier with my dream. She’s the one who woke me up from it and my instincts took over and I used my real strength on her. She played it off like it was nothing but I know she probably has some idea that I’m not who I say I am.” Laura is afraid that once Carmilla knows the truth then she will leave. It wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened to Laura and that scares her. Not that Laura would ever tell her friends that she is afraid of what a vampires opinion of her is. Laura doesn’t know when it happened but she’s started to let herself care for Carmilla, and that is more dangerous than any situation happening at this school. Perry probably can also tell that Laura is a little biased towards Carmilla, but she won’t mention anything until Laura is ready. 

 

“You don’t have to tell her everything about yourself, but we could use any help with finding out who is causing the dark presence as we can get.” Laura knows that Laf is right. When did Laura become such a coward? Okay Laura, she thinks, girl the hell up and just tell Carm the truth. 

 

Fuck, she is so screwed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Danny investigate more. Laura finds out about Carmilla’s involvement in the missing students.

After Laura’s discussion with her friends she returned to her dorm to ready herself for class. Fortunately, or unfortunately Laura’s not exactly sure which, Carm wasn’t in the dorm when she got back. So Laura gets dressed and gathers her things to attend her classes for the day all the while trying to pretend that she isn’t deathly afraid of telling Carmilla the truth. Little did Laura know that she would find out something much worse. 

 

———————

 

When the bell rang at the end of her literature class, Laura grabbed her things and started her long walk back to her dorm room. Hoping some fresh air and a relaxing walk would give her some time to gather her nerves before her talk with Carm. As she went to leave the classroom she vaguely heard someone shout for her behind her back. Laura was so preoccupied in her own head she didn’t even register that someone was behind her. She had to physically force herself not to react unconsciously like she did with Carmilla early this morning. 

 

Laura’s so stressed thinking about her talk that she let her guard down, and Laura never does that. 

 

“Laura! Hey, are you okay?” It’s Danny’s voice that’s been calling for Laura’s attention. Laura’s body uncoils from its tense state and she subtly puts her human persona on. She stops her walk and turns to give Danny her signature smile. Laura can see Danny’s shy smile back to her, and she really doesn’t have the energy to pretend right now. 

 

“Hey Danny, sorry I was lost in my own head there. What’s going on?” Danny stares at her lips for a minute before pulling her gaze back up and stuttering over her words. 

 

“I uh, just wanted to let you know that I, uh talked to those alchemy club guys I saw at the party and they gave me this.” Danny pulls a portable usb out of her pocket and holds it out to Laura. “They were documenting some sort of weird experiment at the parties, so they took pictures at all the ones students have gone missing at.” Danny gives her a proud smile at her finding. Laura takes the usb and is actually glad for once that this school has a club full of odd humans. 

 

“Wow Danny, this is great. If we’re lucky we might actually get a lead on our mystery friend.” If Laura can find out who that person is, then they will be one step closer to figuring out what’s happening at this school. 

 

“I figured we could go through them tonight and see if we can find our suspect.” Danny says with hope in her voice. 

 

“Sure, just come with me to my dorm and we can go through them there.” Laura knows this is a bad idea but it’s the only way that she can find out who is taking these students. If Laura has to entertain Danny for a few hours then so be it. Laura just hopes that Carmilla doesn’t show up again. 

 

“Lead the way.” Danny tries to give her a flirty smile. Oh boy, Laura thinks. 

 

—————————-

 

Laura’s instincts are never wrong. Her whole life she has lived by them and relied on them when needed. There has never been an occasion where she was wrong about something she was certain about. And Laura is certain about this, she knows she isn’t wrong about this. 

 

“Laura the proof is right in front of you, why aren’t you agreeing with me on this? Look right there, she’s with Betty at the party you guys attended. And over here there she is talking to Elsie. What more proof do you need to realize that your roommate is kidnapping people?” Laura and Danny have been arguing ever since they saw the damning pictures of Carmilla with all four of the missing students. Each one taken at a different party where they disappeared. Laura has been around plenty of people who practically dripped in darkness and evil intentions. But not Carmilla. Carm may be involved somehow and Laura is going to find out why. “Laura you aren’t safe here, you should come over to the summer society where my sisters and I can keep you safe.” Danny is practically begging her to leave with her, like Laura is some damsel in distress who needs saving. 

 

“First of all, the evidence we have is only circumstantial because we don’t have the full story. I’m not going to put blame on someone before I’ve heard their side of things. And second of all, don’t ever imply that I need protecting because trust me I can protect myself just fine.” Laura knew that if Danny’s feelings for her grew that her overprotective nature could eventually become a problem for her. She just didn’t think it would become a problem this quickly. This is only the second time they’ve even really spoken. 

 

“That’s not what I was trying to say Laura, I just don’t want her to hurt you is all. She could be seriously dangerous.” Danny tries to reach for her hand but Laura pulls it away from her. This needs to stop now. 

 

“Look Danny I appreciate your concern but it’s unprecedented. I don’t need it and clearly I don’t want it. You seem like a good person but my feelings for you won’t ever become more than that of just friends. I’m not trying to be harsh this is just the way I am.” The truth always hurts more to humans than a lie. Laura doesn’t like to lie, it’s not in her nature but humans are fragile creatures. She had to learn to be untrue to keep humans from being hurt by her truths. 

 

“Why did you make it seem like there was more to yesterday than it was then?” Danny’s voice sounds small now and Laura just wants her to leave. 

 

“That wasn’t my intention and I’m sorry if I made it seem like it was. Carm and I just like to banter and I was riling her up. None of what I said yesterday was true.” Laura shouldn’t have implied that her and Danny were having a date yesterday. This whole thing probably could have been avoided. This is also why Laura doesn’t date anymore because humans will always misunderstand her intentions. 

 

“I see.” The sooner Danny leaves the sooner Carmilla can come in from where she’s been snooping outside the dorm listening into their fight. Laura could sense her walk up to the dorm when she was shutting down Danny’s protection. I guess Laura isn’t the only one that likes to snoop on people’s conversations. “I’m going to go now,” Danny avoids looking at Laura’s face as she stands to leave,”stay safe Laura.” Then she finally leaves, and Laura waits for Carmilla’s inevitable arrival. Laura turns to her computer where she had the video playing again during their search of the photos. Laura will have to edit it so there’s no evidence of Carmilla ever being at the parties. Carmilla enters the room while she is cutting footage from her newest entry. 

 

“Saw Xena storm out of here looking pretty upset. Trouble in paradise cutie?” Carmilla is fishing for information from Laura and she’s over this gap that’s now between them. So Laura thinks, fuck it, and dives straight into the matter. 

 

“I know you were listening in so you already know we were fighting.” Laura turns around and Carmilla freezes with her back to Laura by the mini fridge where she just pulled out her not so secretive carton of blood. For a vampire Carmilla doesn’t do that good of a job at hiding that fact. Who hides blood in a soy milk container?

 

“What’re you talking about?” Carmilla still hasn’t turned around so Laura will just have to rip off the bandaid. 

 

“I’m talking about the fact that you’re a vampire so super hearing makes it really easy for someone to listen in on conversations.” Laura doesn’t need to be a witch to know that Carm is radiating tenseness from her entire body right now. Laura braces herself for what she’ll do next cause there’s no turning back now. 

 

“How’d you find out?” Laura has never heard Carm speak so quietly before. 

 

“I knew right away when we met, vampires tend to have a certain aura to them. Plus your heart doesn’t beat so that was also a dead giveaway, literally.” The atmosphere in their room right now is getting suffocating. Every nerve in Laura’s body is on edge. She’s preparing for a fight that may or may not happen. 

 

“So what, are you a witch or something?” Laura laughs a little at this easy assumption. 

 

“Or something.” Laura replies and Carmilla finally turns to face her. They silently regard one another, seeing what the other will do. Predator versus predator. Hunter versus hunter. 

 

“Why aren’t you afraid of me then?” Carmilla genuinely seems to wonder about this. 

 

“Should I be?” She asks back. 

 

“Yes. You should be.” Carm says in finality. Laura smiles sadly in understanding. When one is told that they are a monster to be feared their whole life, then one will eventually believe that to be truth. 

 

“I have a complicated history with vampires, but I do not fear them, nor do I fear you. I never have and I never will.” Laura will tell her everyday she isn’t afraid of her if she needs to. 

 

“You’re naive if you think vampires shouldn’t be feared. They’d kill you in an instant if it pleased them or they would just torture you to try and sate their unending boredom. Blood is our only food and humans can be so very tasty when we are hungry.” Carm slowly struts towards where Laura is sitting on her desk chair. Like a predator stalking its prey. If Carmilla is trying to scare Laura, she’s doing the opposite, if anything Laura is extremely turned on. Which isn’t the smartest thing for her to be right now. The closer Carmilla gets the hungrier her eyes are. 

 

“Who said that I was human?” Laura stands and begins to close the gap between them more. When they are barely an inch apart and Laura can feel the intoxicating pheromones pouring out of Carmilla, she leans closer to her. “Go ahead, have a taste,” Laura moves her mouth close to Carm’s ear, ”if you can.” Laura can feel her heart pounding in excitement but she forcibly pulls herself back and sits down on her bed. Carmilla hasn’t moved from where Laura just tempted her. She can see Carmilla’s jaw is clenched and her eyes are shut tight. Laura can be such a tease sometimes, Carmilla easily brings out her rebelliousness. 

 

“Can I see your hand?” Laura asks suddenly, she feels bad for leaving Carmilla high and dry so to speak so she wants to help her. Laura normally wouldn’t do this for someone but she feels fine doing it for Carmilla. Laura reaches her arm out to Carmilla who is eyeing it like its poison. 

 

“Just trust me, and let me see your hand. I won’t bite, unless of course you want me to?” Carmilla looks into her eyes probably looking for some kind of trap or trick. So Laura lets her look while patiently waiting for Carmilla’s hand. After what seems like a long debate with herself Carm gently places her hand in Laura’s. She pulls her closer and gestures for Carm to sit on her bed with her. 

 

“This will only take a minute.” Laura places both her hands over Carm’s and closes her eyes, recalling words from instinct. “SHI INA KAN, KAN INA SHI.” The connection is instantaneous and she feels her life essence leave her body and travel through her hands into Carmilla. Laura hears her gasp loudly and then sighs like she was just submerged into a relaxing hot bath for the first time in years. Laura let’s the spell dwindle on its own before opening her eyes, not yet letting go of Carmilla’s hand. 

 

“What did you just do to me?” Carmilla asks huskily and it sounds like she’s just had the best sex of her life. Laura gives her a coy smile and tries not to let the sound of her voice turn her on more than before. 

 

“I fed you.” Carmilla seems lost by her explanation. “Vampires always assume that blood is their only food source, but it’s not. They feed on life essence, yes blood is a big part of that but it’s not the only way. I simply gave you part of my own life essence, it’ll last much longer than blood ever could. You shouldn’t need to feed for awhile, months even.” 

 

“Why the hell would you give me part of your life?!” Carmilla roughly pulls her hand away and is looking at Laura baffled and afraid. Not in fear of her but in fear of something else, something Laura can’t quite see. 

 

“It’s fine, I have plenty to spare.” Laura wasn’t even sure if the spell would work for Carmilla or not. A lot of times when Laura grew desperate for someone to live longer with her or to save their life she would try to use the spell on them. It never worked, and now Laura knows why. It was never a spell meant for mortals. Ironic really, that a spell meant to extend one’s life would only work on those who don’t actually need it. Magic can be fickle like that. 

 

“Who are you?” Carmilla asks her the same question she asked the day they first met. 

 

“I honestly wish I could tell you, but I don’t know.” Laura never wanted Carmilla to look at her with suspicion or distrust. “If I promise to answer your questions truthfully, would you promise the same to me?” She hopes that Carmilla can trust her enough to reveal some truths about herself. 

 

“That seems fair cupcake.” The use of one of her nicknames makes a smile grow on her face. 

 

“Fair warning, I may answer a lot of your questions with ‘I don’t know’ and it’s not to avoid your question. It’s because I genuinely don’t know the answer.” Carm seems a little skeptical of this. 

 

“Why wouldn’t you know?” Laura could answer this question in her sleep. Almost everyone at the coven seems to ask her at some point why she doesn’t know things about herself and her answer is always the same. 

 

“A long time ago, my mind was completely wiped. So I have no memory of who or what I used to be and I don’t know why it happened or who did it for that matter.” Laura says with little to no emotion. 

 

“That seems lonely.” Carmilla replies and Laura’s shocked by this response. She’s never really thought of it that way before. Not knowing has never really felt like a burden until she attended this school and met   
Carmilla. 

 

“It is.” Laura agrees. They sit in silence for awhile, quietly contemplating what questions to ask. Laura knows she needs the truth about the students but she is also reluctant. Once the truth is out it can’t be taken back. 

 

“Are you immortal?” Carmilla breaks their quiet and it looks like it’s gonna be baby steps for them. 

 

“Yes, I am immortal in every way.” She thought this would be an easy topic but now she’s not so sure. Many times in the past Laura has found herself in the dark places of her mind and she thought she could never recover from it. She doesn’t like to remind herself of these times but she will if it’s so Carmilla can understand her. 

 

“What do you mean in every way?” Carmilla seems entranced in Laura’s story. Almost like she’s reading one of her philosophy books. 

 

“There have been several occasions where I should have died but I didn’t. There isn’t a single thing I could name that can kill me.” 

 

“If you don’t know what you are how can you know that?” Laura has to remind herself not to evade the truth. 

 

“I know I can’t be killed because I’ve tried every way to die one can think of and its never worked.” 

 

“I see.” Laura is glad that Carmilla drops this topic of conversation. Carmilla just looks at her and her eyes resemble Laura’s own. A deep seeded sadness for those who have lived for too long without meaning. A tragedy buried in a chaotic storm. A woman lost in time itself. It’s easier for an immortal to live when they have something to live for. Laura has her coven but even then she can’t bring herself to get too attached to humans knowing they will eventually die. Laf and Perry are the first ones she’s let into her heart in a long time. 

 

“How are you involved in the student disappearances?” Carmilla’s hackles raise at this question and Laura knows she needs to tread carefully if she wants Carmilla to stay on her side and not think she’s accusing her. “There were pictures of you with all the kids who have gone missing, so you are either involved or you are behind the whole thing. I believe it’s the former, which is why I deleted the evidence I found that could put all the blame on you.” Carmilla seems genuinely surprised at what Laura says, she opens and closes her mouth a few times, like she doesn’t know what to respond to that. 

 

“Why would you do that for me?” Laura is glad that Carmilla didn’t try to deny her involvement, this lets Laura know that she’ll be forthcoming with the truth. 

 

“I like to know all sides of a story before putting blame on something. Jumping to conclusions is never a good option for someone who is usually depicted of evil deeds. And I don’t believe you to be evil, I’ve seen true evil and that’s not you.” Laura isn’t a stranger to those who believe they are darkness incarnate. She doesn’t need to see someone’s aura to know if they are immersed in darkness. Laf calls it the sixth sense, where even normal humans are subconsciously afraid of something that is evil without seeing its true face. 

 

“You don’t know anything about me.” Carm bites out half heartedly, not out of anger but more out of habit. Like an automatic response to someone assuming something about her. 

 

“Then tell me.” Laura tries to meet Carmilla’s downcast eyes. “Tell me about yourself.” Carmilla looks into Laura’s eyes and takes a deep unnecessary breath before talking. 

 

“I was born Mirkalla Karnstein in 1680, I was the daughter of a count and on my 18th birthday I was murdered at my own ball. I was raised from the dead by my new mother and turned into a vampire. She took me to all the places I never got to go to in my life. Museums, cities, every day was a new adventure and every place had something new to explore. It was everything I ever wanted my life to be like. Living day to day without a care and experiencing the true pleasures of the world.” Carmilla gazes over to the far wall and seems to get lost into her memories. 

 

“When did that change?” Carmilla returns her gaze back to Laura. 

 

“Mother had me start befriending girls and tricking them into allowing me to stay in their home. It was fun at first, like a game mother created specifically for me. At the end of the game she would always take the girl and then they would disappear never to be seen again. I always did what mother said because in my eyes she saved me from my mundane life and gave me a new exciting one, albeit an undead one. 

 

“Then I met Ell. The game started off the same as before but this time none of it was a lie. I wanted to run away with Ell and start a new life, one without games and mothers. But my mother found out about my plan and revealed to Ell my vampiric nature in the most horrible light. She confronted me and called me a monster. Ell left with my mother and I never saw her again.

 

“As punishment for my behavior, mother locked me in a coffin of blood so I may waste away for eternity. My eternity only lasted until the Second World War when my coffin was unearthed by bombs and I was freed. I emerged into a world of war with tanks and guns, a violence like no other. 

 

“I was free of my mother’s influence until the 1950’s where she found me again and the game resumed as before. The rules were the same but the circumstances had changed. I was to attend this school and befriend the other students until my mother takes them for some unknown reason. All I know is after she takes them they are never seen again.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura tells Carmilla about herself.

Laura had been silently watching Carmilla as she talked about her life. She could feel the pain and the sadness pour into her soul as Carm recounted events of her past, of the life she had been unwillingly thrust into. She felt the love Carm had for Ell and the sinking pit in her stomach at her betrayal. Carmilla is just like Laura in many ways. She doesn’t let people see the true side of her for fear of being rejected again. 

 

Laura lets the silence in the room surround them while Carmilla collects her own emotions. When Carm seems more like her usual self Laura reaches over and gently places her hand on her left cheek. Carmilla looks up at her uncertainly. Laura doesn’t need to say anything to her, she just lets Carm see the truth in her eyes. That Laura would never judge her for her past, and she wouldn’t ever call her a monster. 

 

Even if Carmilla wanted to be free of her mother she couldn’t be. When a human is brought back as the undead they are then forever linked to the one that raised them. A metaphorical chain is wrapped around Carmilla that binds her soul to her mother’s will. Carmilla must obey her because doing otherwise would put her in tremendous pain. A vampire without their sire bond is known in the supernatural world as a ghoul. Mortals like to believe that vampires do not have their souls but that is untrue. Ghouls are the vampires that have lost their souls and have become the monsters that humans believe vampires to be. If one tries to forcibly break their sire bond they then risk being turned into a ghoul. 

 

Laura keeps her hand on Carm’s cheek for awhile and then reluctantly pulls it away. She can see Carm’s head start to follow before she notices what she’s doing and stops. Laura’s heart speeds up a little at that. 

 

“I need to figure out what your mother is doing here at this school. Do you know anything about why she takes people?” Laura breaks their comfortable silence trying to suppress the feelings that Carmilla is stirring within her. 

 

“She never told me why and I never asked at first. It wasn’t until Ell that I began to wonder what she was doing with them. And my mother isn’t someone you can just ask what their plan is because she would murder anyone who tried, including me. I used to think that she really cared for me but she only wanted to use me as a pawn in her twisted little game of chess.” Carm’s words become biting and harsh. Laura can’t blame her for being angry at someone she believed to be her mother and yet only treated her like a servant. “Everyone at this school is already terrified of her so it’s no surprise that she needs others to do all the dirty work for her.” 

 

“Why? Who’s your mother?” Laura asks. 

 

“She’s the dean.” Carmilla says and Laura knows that they are truly screwed. Being the dean of Silas grants Carmilla’s mother untold amount of control over every and all things that happen here. Not to mention the fact that she’s an undead vampire with who knows how many of her sires she has planted in or around the school. Laura herself hasn’t met the dean of Silas as of yet, considering the dean hardly shows her face around campus besides her initial opening speech at the beginning of the year. Laura didn’t attend the speech because she was with her adopted Father at the time while he lectured her on proper safety whilst living in a dorm with strangers. Even though Laura has rapid healing abilities he still treats her like his child. Laura spends most of her time being annoyed and warmed at that prospect. Never knowing which will win over the other. 

 

“I need to warn my friends about her and come up with some kind of plan to stop whatever it is that she has planned.” Laura’s mind starts to wander into different scenarios of possibilities and outcomes but Carmilla abruptly stops her thoughts. She jumps off the bed and starts rapidly pacing back and forth, clearly becoming very agitated. 

 

“Have you not heard anything I’ve said? My mother isn’t someone you can go against! She’s too powerful and she’d kill all of us the second she knew we were planning against her! I don’t care how immortal you are my mother would find a way to kill you, she always does.” Carmilla sinks down onto her bed after finishing her outburst in defeat. 

 

Carmilla’s lived her whole undead life believing she will never be free of her mother and Laura knows what it’s like to think that there’s a leash keeping her tethered to something she’ll never be free of. Laura’s whole life she’s been praised as the founder of the Perry coven. Everyone there always wants something from her whether it be a spell or to save someone or just to be someone they can worship. It’s why Laura used to leave the coven for decades at a time before she felt the inevitable pull to return to the place where the cycle would begin anew. The coven never felt like home for Laura. Laf and Perry are the only people in the coven who never ask anything of her, and now that list includes Carmilla. Laura feels compelled to help her finally be free and maybe along the way Laura can also feel that freedom for once. 

 

“I can help you be free of her Carmilla. Yes we may die and yes it is dangerous, but I’ve never been the kind of person who sits by and lets someone I care for get hurt, it’s just not in my nature. You don’t have to get involved but I would like it if you considered it. I know you probably don’t trust anyone but I can help you if you let me.” Laura walks over to Carmilla where she’s still seated on her bed and Laura places her hands on her shoulders and squeezes gently. “Please let me help you.” Carmilla still seems terrified of the prospect of defying her mother and trying to break free of her control. Laura doesn’t drop her gaze and pours every ounce of confidence she has for this quest into Carmilla’s spirit. Laura watches as her resolve hardens into a steely determination. 

 

“Fuck it, I’m tired of living this way and even if we do die at least then I’ll finally be free of her control. Let’s take the bitch down.” Laura laughs a little at Carm’s sudden enthusiasm and relaxes her hold on her shoulders and instead sits next next to her on her bed. “There’s only one problem with this plan of yours.” Carm says after Laura sits down. 

 

“And what’s that?” Laura is just glad that Carmilla decided to join her. 

 

“If I defy my mother I’ll risk turning myself into a ghoul and I refuse to turn into one of those things, I’d rather burn to ash.” Carmilla does have a point and now would probably be a good time for Laura to finally reveal more about herself. 

 

“I have a solution for that actually. The only problem is I don’t know if it would be a good idea to do right now.” Laura suggests. 

 

“What solution?” Carmilla looks at her questioningly. 

 

“A long time ago I met a vampire who was abused daily by their sire in ways that even most vampires would find barbaric. I grew fond of them and I managed to create a way for me to break a vampire’s bond without the risk of losing their soul. The problem is the process is brutal and causes much pain to the vampire but it does break the bond in the end. The reason I don’t think it would be a good idea to do right now is because it would alert your mother into knowing that the bond has been broken since it is a connection felt by both sire and sired.” Laura may also be a little apprehensive in this plan because she knows that watching Carmilla be in any kind of pain would hurt Laura twice as much. 

 

“How in the frilly hell do you even know how to do something like that? I’ve never heard of any magic that is strong enough to tamper with a sire bond let alone break one.” Carmilla questions her incredulously. 

 

“I guess it’s only fair for me to share my own life story after you shared your own. My memory goes as far back as the mid 1700’s, the Perry coven managed to track me down somehow after I had been missing and they eventually found me in the year 1724. I was half mad entrapped in a powerful magical spell that even the most powerful witch among them couldn’t break. None of them knew how long I had been there even before they found me. Of course I don’t remember any of this. 

 

“Years later after I was brought to the coven when I became suspicious of those very same witches I stole away and read the reports of what they saw that day. According to them I was found in an abandoned castle that looked like a war had been through it. There was blood all over the walls and ceilings, and the furnishings were completely ripped apart. They found me in one of the bedrooms, muttering under my breath, and saying things in a language that they didn’t know. The only phrase they could make out was that I kept going on and on about a light that went out and then I asked them to kill me so I could find my light.” When Laura had read that part of the witches report she almost set the record on fire. Her heart practically broke inside her chest at the thought of whatever light that she lost. 

 

“How did they get you out of the magical trap if it was so powerful?” Carmilla’s question brings Laura back to the present and she can tell that Carmilla did it on purpose. Seeing Laura become distressed Carmilla knew she had to snap her out of it by distracting her mind from the things that upset her. Laura silently thanks her with her eyes and continues her story. 

 

“I broke myself out. In the report, the witches said I let out a piercing scream that shook the entire castle and blasted the spell into pieces, the castle threatened to collapse until I fell unconscious. I didn’t wake up again until 1748, but when I did I was practically a blank slate with no memory whatsoever. I was basically a baby deer having to learn to walk on its legs for the first time. The witches who found me kept me hidden from the rest of the coven to try and mold me into someone they could use. My mind was like that of a child’s latching on to those that supposedly wanted to help me and teach me about my magic. I ignored my instincts telling me that something was wrong, because I believed that they cared for me.” 

 

“But then you found out the truth about who you actually were.” Carmilla surmises. 

 

“The truth will always reveal itself to those who are never looking for it. No matter how painful it may be. They kept me hidden for many years always saying I was a danger to myself and others while I was learning my magic, which was false. One day I found the courage to sneak out on my own and stumbled upon the magic codex that I myself wrote for the coven in the year 1437. 

 

“Betrayed by those I believed to be my family, I returned and confronted the witches. They told me the truth after I forced them to with my magic and then in a fit of rage I killed them for it. Every last one of them. I left the coven after that and didn’t return until 1880...” Laura pauses and has to force herself to continue the rest of her story so she doesn’t shut down. 

 

“I stayed at the coven for brief periods of time and always left to be on my own when it became too stifling. Somehow no matter how long I stayed away I always found my way back there, like a dog reaching the end of its leash and having to return to its owner. That is until I decided to join a random school in Styria hoping to be free of the supernatural only to find myself embroiled in something far more dangerous than I could ever have expected.” Laura can’t help but notice how enraptured Carmilla seemed to be while she told her her story. Carmilla doesn’t seem to be in awe of her like the witches are but more like she’s found a new meaning. 

 

“My mother is far more dangerous than anything anyone has ever seen.” Carmilla says after a lengthy pause when Laura stopped talking. 

 

“I wasn’t talking about her.” Laura whispers as she catches Carmilla’s eyes looking back at her in shock. Laura knows that she needs to stop talking otherwise her last hold on her emotions will break and she will do something that will probably get both of them killed or worse. 

 

“We need to stop my mother before whatever she has planned will get everyone killed. Nothing else matters more than that.” Laura can hear the slight sound of regret twinging in Carm’s voice but she also knows it is for the best. Maybe after this whole showdown with her mother is over they can confront the unmentionable thing that is between them. That is if they are still alive of course.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best chapter

“The most logical action to do now would be to gather my friends so we can come up with some sort of game plan on how to go about taking down your mother. You don’t have to tell them your story if you’re not comfortable with that but Laf likes asking questions so if they get pushy don’t be afraid to push them back. We need to know as much as we can about your mother so we can properly plan for this.” Laura attempts to break the awkward tension that surrounded them after her small confession. Now isn’t the time for them to become distracted by feelings of any kind, especially ones that could get them killed, permanently. 

 

“Are your friends also witches?” Carmilla asks her. 

 

“Perry is but she doesn’t use her magic and I won’t force her. Lafontaine is human but a brilliant supernatural scientist, their inventions are pure mad genius.” Laura can’t help but be proud of who her friends are. Of course Carmilla doesn’t agree with her. 

 

“So our only help against a powerful vampire with hordes of followers are a neutered witch and Dr. Frankenstein. That’s just great, I might as well go pick out my tomb stone now.” Laura can’t help but chuckle a little at Carmilla’s exasperation. “How are you seriously laughing right now?” 

 

“I’ve never been the kind of person who freaks out over situations like this. Blame it on my immortality or what have you. I’m just enjoying the fact that you actually make me laugh and I haven’t done that in a long time.” Carmilla gives her a soft look and then turns away form her to hide it. 

 

“I don’t know your friends but I do know that we will need more than four people to take on my mother. Also mother and her followers aren’t the only ones we will need to worry about. There’s also my sister and my poor excuse for a brother. I might be able to convince my sister to at least step aside or not interfere unless mother forces her but Will is another story. He’s a huge mama’s boy and does everything mother asks him. It also doesn’t help that he’s the biggest douche I’ve ever met. He’s younger than me so I’ll be able to fight him but he also attends this school so if he even notices that we are planning something he’ll immediately run and tell mother.” Carmilla begins to grow pensive again. Laura sits silently while she tries to formulate different ideas in her head that doesn’t involve them all being viciously slaughtered. 

 

“Okay we need a break from all this doom and gloom. I feel up for a run would you like to join me?” Laura suggests, hoping that some fresh air in her lungs will help her formulate their next step. 

 

“Why the hell not, but don’t complain if you can’t keep up with me cupcake.” Carmilla throws her a cocky smirk. Laura chuckles at her and gives one right back. 

 

“I just hope you enjoy the view of my ass while you try to keep up with me.” Laura winks at her while she exits the room with a triumphant grin on her face not seeing the burning gaze Carmilla gives as she leaves. 

 

—————————————-

 

 

A couple hours later Laura finds herself laying down on the roof of the Lustig building with Carmilla lazing right beside her. They had run for awhile and Laura has never felt so free in her life before. For the first time she felt like there was no collar on her neck or invisible cage trapping her in place. There was nothing but the wind in her hair, the sun on her face and the most beautiful smile Laura had ever seen on Carmilla’s face. 

 

While they were running Carmilla would try to speed ahead of her only for Laura to gain the lead. After doing that a couple of times they turned it into a game of sorts. Laura can’t remember the last time she goofed off or just played a simple game like trying to win a race. Of course Carmilla had to go and try to cheat. 

 

“So you’re a giant black cat, huh?” Laura finally breaks the comfortable silence that had formed after they laid down to look at the stars. 

 

When Laura kept gaining ground after secretly using a spell to make her legs run even faster (not that Laura would ever admit to also maybe cheating a little) Carmilla decided to change into her panther form. Even as a panther Laura could swear she could see Carm’s smirk as she raced by her. 

 

Carmilla turns her head towards her and laughs lowly. 

 

“What can I say, I am what I eat.” She smirks playfully whilst throwing a wink Laura’s way. 

 

“Your sense of humor is terrible.” Laura shakes her head and laughs at her suggestive joke. 

 

“Says the girl who is currently laughing at said joke.” Carmilla raises her perfect eyebrow. Laura’s laugh dies down and she tries really hard to not move closer to her. 

 

“I never said my humor wasn’t also terrible.” Laura smiles softly and when Carmilla gives her a small one back they look back up to the night sky and the comforting silence returns. 

 

Carmilla is the one that breaks it this time. 

 

“I’ve always liked looking up at the stars, it’s comforting how small we are in comparison. Nothing to that light.” Carmilla’s voice goes soft almost like if she speaks too loud she’ll break the peace that has surrounded them. 

 

“When I left the coven the first time, after what I did to the people who lied to me. I was just so angry I didn’t know what to do anymore and I became lost.” Laura doesn’t dare look over at Carm while she tells her more about herself. “I didn’t know anything about the real world. The only place I knew was the coven and what the witches taught me. I wasn’t prepared for what I would experience, and I had to learn that the hard way.” Laura almost jumps when Carmilla places her hand in hers. She is pretty sure that Carm can hear Laura’s heart beat faster when she intertwines their fingers. “I didn’t know what to do with my anger and somehow I ended up joining a group of vampires. I did so many horrible things with them, hoping that it would somehow make my pain go away but it never did.

 

“Eventually the group I was with grew bored of me and one night they took turns bleeding me dry til I had nothing left to give. So on that same night I found myself in this exact same position, looking up at the stars and finally seeing the beauty of it for the first time. As my life slowly faded my last thought was that at least I could witness something as beautiful as the night sky.” Laura finishes her sad tale and finally looks over at Carmilla only to lose all the air in her lungs. 

 

Carmilla has unshed tears in her eyes and is looking at her like she’s witnessed the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. Carmilla seems to realize what she’s doing and clears her throat before suggesting they head back to the dorm. Laura agrees and they walk back at a normal human pace. Both of them reluctant to end the night but also wanting to get some distance to sort out their chaotic emotions. 

 

Before they reach the dorm Laura stops when she senses her friends coming her way. 

 

“Just a heads up my friends are about to ambush us.” Laura warns Carm just as Laf and Perry meet them by the dorm entrance. 

 

“Hey Laura who’s your friend?” Laf asks being their genuinely friendly self. Perry is quiet as usual but seems to be eyeing them suspiciously. Laura tries not to fidget under her knowing gaze. Perry always did have a way of figuring things out about Laura before anyone else. Sometimes even herself. 

 

“Laf, Perry, this is my roommate Carmilla. Carm this is Lafontaine and Perry.” Laura introduces them and prepares for Carmilla’s sarcastic comment. 

 

“Ah well if it isn’t the witch and the mad scientist. Laura are all your friends redheads?” 

 

“Considering they are my only friends, I suppose they are. Anyways, Laf tomorrow we need to work out a plan or at least some ideas of what we should do and Carmilla can tell you as much as she knows since you’ll want as much information as possible.” Laura quickly changes the course of conversation. 

 

“I think we should check out the library I’ve heard rumors that the building is practically sentient and most people don’t even go in there because of the weird things that happen in there. It’d be the perfect place for us to meet and make plans.” Laf seems to notice the tense atmosphere around her. “But that can wait til tomorrow. Perry and I have to work on a project so we’ll see you tomorrow at the library, it was nice meeting you Carmilla, see you after class.” Laura watches them leave and enter the dorm. The feeling from before returns and Laura tries to fight her instinct to run from her emotions. Especially ones as strong as she is feeling for Carmilla. 

 

Laura’s always felt this hole in her heart that was always there, like an open wound left untreated and ever since Carmilla walked into her dorm room that hole has slowly started to fill. Her heart doesn’t ache every day from something that feels missing from her soul, and Laura is terrified of what that could mean. 

 

“So I got some stuff I need to take care of so don’t wait up for me. I’ll just see you tomorrow cupcake.” Carmilla can barely even meet her eyes and Laura doesn’t know if she’s happy or sad about that. 

 

“See you tomorrow Carm.” Laura says as she watches Carmilla fade into the distance and she can’t help but feel like she’s had this same feeling before. As if she’s finally found her missing half only to watch them disappear before her very eyes. 

 

Laura mentally shakes the depressing thoughts from her brain and heads to her room. She silently hopes that tomorrow won’t feel so chaotic.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something happens to Laura. Perry tells Carmilla a story and some questions are answered that obviously leads to more questions.

The door to the dorm room gets kicked open as Carmilla rushes in with an unconscious, seizing Laura in her arms. Carmilla carefully places her on Laura’s bed and starts holding her head in place while her body shakes uncontrollably. 

 

“What the hell happened back there?” Carm yells at Laf when they enter the room after finally catching up to Carmilla after she sped off with Laura from the library. The second Carmilla saw Laura’s body start to fall she immediately grabbed her before she could hit the ground. When they gathered at the library they shared all the information they had about Carmilla’s mother and Laf suggested they search for books on what kind of ritual or spell her mother could be using that involves the missing students, not knowing that the library also had dark secrets of its own. 

 

“When we were exploring the library and I opened the door to the back room it triggered some sort of Dark Spell trap, Laura rushed over and pushed me out of the way before whatever curse was enacted hit me, more questions later, Perry should be here any second and she is the only who will know what to do to help Laura.” They say while trying to help Carmilla keep Laura from hurting herself. The door bursts open again with Perry rushing through straight to Laura’s side and immediately taking charge of the chaotic atmosphere of the room. 

 

“Okay, no matter what happens you need to do exactly what I say when I say, and I mean do it straight away otherwise you will just put Laura in more pain than she’s currently in. And no matter what you see happen, do NOT touch her. This is a Dark Curse, it could easily infect anyone else who comes in contact with her while I try to deactivate it. Am I understood?” Perry looks at both Laf and Carmilla for complete understanding and control over the situation. Laf nods immediately while Carmilla looks a little reluctant to agree. 

 

“Carmilla if you don’t let me help her now then she may be lost in this curse forever, so am I understood?” Carmilla slowly nods her head. She may not like letting anyone else help Laura but she’s no witch and knows nothing of curses. 

 

“Okay good, on my count you two will let go of her, one, two, now!” They both let go of Laura as her seizing continues. Perry takes off the talisman around her neck and places her hands over Laura’s heart. “Okay Laura, you know what you have to do even if you can’t remember it right now. I may be a little rusty but we can do this together.” Perry begins chanting some spell and a slight hum starts to vibrate throughout the room. 

 

“What is she doing to her?” Carmilla questions the silent scientist whilst pacing a little too fast for the human eye to follow. It’s taking everything in Carmilla not to rip the redhead off of Laura. 

 

“Perry knows what she’s doing Carmilla, she is a very powerful witch. Perry is currently the strongest witch in our coven even if she doesn’t want to be.” Laf starts to look a little pale after their brief explanation. Their worry for both Perry and Laura is steadily climbing higher and higher. The chanting from the bed and the hum in the room starts to dwindle down to a dull buzzing. 

 

Laura’s seizing slowly fades and her body sags into the bed under her, utterly still, too still. 

 

“Is it over? Is she okay?” Carmilla slowly starts to move towards Laura but Perry quickly stops her. 

 

“Don’t! I’ve only managed to stop the physical part of the curse but she’s still trapped in her own nightmare world. I cannot enter her mind without her explicit permission and I especially can’t do that while she is unconscious. If I even tried to enter her mind without her knowing I would not survive, it would be like trying to enter a labyrinth with no entrance. Even if I could get in there’s no guarantee that I wouldn’t just make it worse. No, Laura has to break free of this curse on her own. I just hope she can survive her own worst nightmares.” Perry moves to stand from the bed and her knees buckle under the pressure. Laf barely manages to catch her before she hits the ground. 

 

“Whoa there Perry, you used up way too much magical energy, you need to rest. You haven’t used this much magic in years, your body isn’t used to it.” Laf leads her to Carmilla’s bed and has her lie down on it. They then grab Perry’s talisman and puts it back onto her neck. “I’m going to go find you some juice and add in my special energy powder to help raise it back up, just hang tight here and I’ll be right back.” After Laf closes the door after them, Perry can feel the questions that are about to be bombarded on her by Carmilla. 

 

“She’ll be fine right? I mean she’s Laura, she can handle anything she puts her mind to. I’ve just never seen her look this small before, was she always this small? Could her nightmares really be so bad?” Carmilla finally looks away from where she had her eyes on Laura and looks down at Perry who looks completely wiped out. 

 

Perry knows she’ll have to give Carmilla something otherwise she’ll wear a rut into the floor with her constant pacing and worrying over Laura. So she gathers as much energy into her hand and pats the extra space on the bed, and waits patiently for Carmilla to sit on it next to her. When she does, Perry can see Carmilla is a little uncomfortable with the situation but she carries on regardless. 

 

“Do you know anything about the Perry witch coven that we are from? Or about how the coven was formed?” Perry asks Carmilla hoping to find a place to begin her tale. 

 

“Vaguely, everyone in the supernatural world has heard of the famous and powerful Perry witches but most of the origin stories I’ve heard are vastly different. What does this have to do with anything?” Carmilla seems to be losing her patience. 

 

“Just bear with me, in order for you to understand, you need to know the real truth of our origins. Not many know cause it is a closely guarded secret by my coven to protect our savior.” It’s taking all of Perry’s remaining energy just to talk to Carmilla, but this needs to be said so she pushes through the exhaustion. 

 

“If it’s such a guarded secret why are you going to tell me? I’m not part of your coven and I’m also a vampire, we’re not exactly the most trustworthy of species.” 

 

“Because Laura trusts you.” Perry can see that her statement has surprised Carmilla but she’s trying not to let it show on her face. Carmilla looks over to the occupant on the other bed and Perry sees her eyes soften a little. She knows that Carmilla cares for Laura more than she lets on. 

 

“My ancestor, Gwendoline Perry, was the very first Perry witch, and also the most powerful witch in history. She is also the founder of our coven. She was a natural witch born in the early 1400’s and during that time witchcraft was a very rare occurrence where she lived. No one else in her entire family had even an ounce of magic and eventually they threw her out on her own in fear of what she could do. So Gwendoline moved to a new town and changed her last name to Perry, and started a new life. In the new town she met a man and eventually got married. Not once having to resort to using her magic. 

 

“Then one night, whilst coming home from the market she was attacked by a group of drunk men. Afraid of what they would do to her she charmed a broom stick to hit the men over the head and knock them out. This might actually be where humans got the stereotypical idea for witches and broomsticks.

 

“Anyway, Gwendoline went home that night hoping the men would forget and she could pretend like nothing ever happened. She would soon learn that she was naive in thinking this way. The next morning Gwendoline woke up to a mob outside her house, led by none other than the men who attacked her the night before. The men had gathered everyone in the village and told them that Gwendoline was a witch and that she attempted to kill them the night before. The men claimed Gwendoline had tried to seduce them and when they denied her she grew violent and cast a curse on them. The men were well known figures in the village community so everyone believed every word they said about her. 

 

“The men busted open Gwendoline’s front door and dragged her through town while the villagers looked at her in fear, then the men tied her to a post in a clearing outside the village. People were jabbing her with sticks while others threw stones and their own curses at her. Gwendoline had never felt so much fear in her entire life, and it wasn’t her own fear she felt, it was the villager’s. They were so afraid of her that she could literally feel it pulsing out of their skins, suffocating her. Gwendoline knew better though, they could call her evil and throw every stone in the village at her because she would never be the evil creature they saw her as. 

 

“When she looked out into the crowd she also saw her husband, who used to look at her with such undying love, now only looked at her with burning hate and utter disgust. 

 

“Gwendoline knew from that day on that she could never change how people think. They would always fear the unknown. So she closed her eyes and accepted her fate as the villagers set the logs at her feet on fire, but instead of dying, the strangest of occurrences happened. 

 

“A strong gust of wind blew through the clearing knocking all the villagers down and blowing out the fire. When Gwendoline opened her eyes, she was met with a hooded stranger,in tattered clothing, standing in front of her. 

 

““Do you want to kill them for what they did to you?” The stranger asked her. Gwendoline could tell from the voice that the stranger who saved her was a woman. 

 

““I do not want to kill them. I pity them for their ignorance and their hatred of things they do not have the capacity to understand. It’s not their faults they can’t see the difference between those who are evil and those who are simply misunderstood.” The stranger lifted her head and Gwendoline could see that she was smiling. 

 

“”That was the correct answer.” The stranger then takes Gwendoline’s hand and teleports her away from the angry mob. The stranger brings Gwen to an abandoned town miles away from the one that tried to kill her. 

 

“That empty village is where Gwendoline and her savior form the Perry witch coven. They went out into the world many times for years and searched for witches in danger or those who had been abandoned and brought them back to the town. The savior taught the witches how to better use and control their magic, so that none of them would ever risk being in mortal danger again. 

 

“Gwendoline eventually discovers she’s pregnant from her husband and has twin girls. Thus starting the long line of Perry witches.” Sometime during Perry’s retelling of the story Laf had snuck into the dorm with the juice and hands it over to her. Perry nearly drinks all of it before beginning to speak again. 

 

“My entire family wouldn’t even be alive today or even exist if it wasn’t for that stranger that saved my ancestor from being burned at the stake. So my family has been bound to always protect them and it is an honor for us to do so.” Perry says as if reciting a code of honor. 

 

“Not that that wasn’t a fascinating story or anything but what does that have anything to do with Laura?” Carmilla is beyond confused at this point. After finally hearing the actual story of the Perry witches she wants to ask many follow up questions but Laura is her priority right now and she just wants her original question to be answered. 

 

“The story is relevant because the person who saved Gwendoline Perry, is none other than the same person who is laying in that bed.” Perry says whilst pointing her finger at Laura’s bed. Carmilla’s head whips around to where Laura is still laying very still on her bed. 

 

“So you’re saying Laura helped discover the Perry coven? I knew she was in the coven but why didn’t she tell me that she was one of the founders?” If what Perry says is true then there is a lot more to Laura than she ever thought before. Sure they have talked about some of their pasts but she doesn’t understand why Laura wouldn’t also mention that she’s basically witch royalty. 

 

“In my coven we have what we call the sacred grimoire, it’s our very own original spell book. It was written by Gwendoline and the savior to help teach and guide future witches. In the book it has portraits of every witch to ever be a part of the coven, including the savior. The portrait is a painting of Laura before she lost her memory. It’s the reason the coven searched for her after she went missing and lost her memory. She will always be the savior to everyone in the coven and it’s why some people will try to use her for their own gains. So she doesn’t tell people that she was a founder because Laura has never felt like she should be anything but herself and yet no one in the coven sees her that way. It’s why we left there, we are all outcasts who just wanted to be free of magic for a little while.” The back and forth between Perry and Carmilla plus the long story has sapped the last energy that Perry had left in her and she finally succumbs to unconsciousness. 

 

“Look Carmilla I know this is probably hard to wrap around in your head right now, and we’re all exhausted and Perry is asleep now. So why don’t we just rest and wait to see if Laura wakes up.” Laf goes to pick Perry up but they pause when they hear Carmilla speak after awhile. 

 

“When.” She says. 

 

“Pardon?” 

 

“When Laura wakes up, not if.” Carmilla moves as close to Laura’s bed without touching it and sits on the floor. “You don’t have to move her, I’d rather her be here in case Laura needs her again.” Laf gently sets Perry back onto Carmilla’s bed feeling relieved to not have to carry her all the way to their shared dorm room. 

 

“That’s probably a good idea, Perry may not seem like your typical witch but she knows what she’s doing. She wouldn’t be the strongest witch if she didn’t. Perry and I grew up on stories about Laura you know? About what she did for our families and how she not only helped create a coven for witches but also brought in normal human families who supported witchcraft. The Perry witches are the only coven that are known to not only associate with regular humans but also live with them. You may think that Perry and I aren’t telling you the whole truth but we are. Even we don’t know who Laura really is or who she was before she saved Perry’s family. The only person who knew was Gwendoline and she took that secret to her grave, literally like she took any evidence of anything with her in her grave. Only Laura can open it and she can’t without her memories. 

 

“I used to always think about how sad it must be to live everyday thinking you’re someone, when really you’re a completely different person and you just don’t know it. Like why doesn’t she age? For as long as I’ve known her she’s always looked exactly as she does now. Or how about the fact that if Laura isn’t human or a witch, and she’s definitely not a vampire. Then what is she? Because of all the species that I know actually exist, she doesn’t come close to any of them. It doesn’t make sense and I’m a scientist I like the unexplainable but of all the years I’ve had to try to learn more about her I can never find the solution.” Carmilla has been listening to the scientist talk while filing away little bits of information they revealed about Laura’s history. The more Carmilla learns about Laura the more she wants to understand her. If Laura regains her memory Carmilla feels like maybe Laura could also understand Carmilla too. Like she’s finally found someone who can relate to what it’s like to live for such a long time and experience as much as she has. Trying to live with guilt and hate and anger. Trying to let go of past mistakes and betrayals. How to actually be happy for once. But most of all she just wants Laura to open her eyes. Carmilla just really wants to see her beautiful brown eyes again. 

 

——————————————-

 

Sometime during the night after the scientist had finally fallen asleep, Carmilla thinks she hears a small sound come from Laura. Almost like a whisper floating through the wind. 

 

Carmilla carefully sits on the empty space beside Laura on the bed hoping that she might make another sound. 

 

“Come on cupcake. You can break this thing, you’re so much stronger than you know. I know you can come back from this. Please, come back to me.” Carmilla gently places her hand on Laura’s cheek and then everything fades into blackness. 

 

When Carmilla wakes up she finds herself in a dark room, like the darkness had sucked out any form of light that ever existed in this place and all that’s left is broken, empty shadows twisted and bent, meant to corrupt anything and anyone that it touches. This isn’t a place that Carmilla would ever wish someone to find themselves, especially herself. So how did Carmilla get here? And where exactly was she? 

 

In the still of the darkness she hears a small, faint sound. Almost as if someone is slowly shuffling their feet on the ground, but it’s wrong, like there’s a dampness that shouldn’t be there. It echoes in this place, the sound bounces and shifts in between the shadows. 

 

“Is anybody here?” Carmilla hesitantly calls out into the abyss of the dark. Hoping beyond hope that she isn’t alone in this endless pitch of black. She feels like someone could easily lose their mind in this place, it would be a never ending torment. 

 

Carmilla hears that strange sound again, so she cautiously moves towards where she thinks she can hear it coming from. Her arms are stretched out and her senses are on overload. She needs to get out of this place, it’s starting to remind her of her time in the coffin and that’s not a place she ever wants her mind to return to. 

 

After what feels like hours of walking in pure darkness, her foot accidentally knocks into something or in this case, someone. Her eyes had somewhat adjusted to her surroundings but what she finds on the ground will forever haunt her. 

 

Laura is on her knees in a shredded cloak wearing armor that looks almost as black as the surrounding darkness. But that isn’t the part that horrifies her, it’s the look in Laura’s eyes. There’s a hollowness that Carmilla has only ever seen in her own eyes. They are the eyes of someone who has been to the darkest parts of themselves and can never return. It’s a look she didn’t ever want to see on Laura’s face. 

 

Carmilla gently drops to her knees in front of Laura trying not to startle her, but Laura doesn’t react at all. It doesn’t even seem like she is breathing and Carmilla feels completely out of her depth. 

 

“Cupcake, can you hear me?” No reaction, not even a blink. “Laura, please come back, I don’t know what to do. I just need you to tell me what to do. I don’t even know where we are. Laura please, I need you.” Carmilla begs her while desperately trying to bring her Laura back. Laura doesn’t respond to her pleading and Carmilla slowly starts to lose hope. She shuts her eyes tightly willing herself not to lose the last ounce of will she has on her emotions and lowers her head to her knees. “Please come back.” A stray tear falls from her eye and lands in the space between them. 

 

“Gone..” Carmilla barely hears the word that slips into the air. Her head shoots up and she looks to Laura who still hasn’t moved. 

 

“All gone...” she hears it clearly this time and she sees the small movement of Laura’s lips. 

 

“Who’s gone Laura?” But she still doesn’t hear Carmilla. 

 

“All gone.. no one left..darkness, so much darkness..then a light. My little light, cannot lose the little light...Darkness finds my little light. They swallow it whole and takes my light...My little light.” Laura lifts her hands and Carmilla finally notices the blood that is covering them, dripping through Laura’s fingers. “Nothing left, only darkness.” Laura’s eyes start to glaze over again and Carmilla’s patience runs out. 

 

“That’s enough!” Carmilla shouts and grabs Laura by her shoulders. “Wake up Laura! Just please snap out of this!” She shakes her violently growing desperate over the whole situation. Carmilla didn’t understand any of what Laura was saying but she knows she needs to wake her from this hellish nightmare right now. “Come back to me!” She keeps shaking her trying to snap her back into herself. 

 

Laura’s hands find hers on her shoulders and Carmilla stops shaking her. When she looks at Laura’s face she can see that Laura finally sees her, but Carmilla wasn’t prepared for the look that she sees in her eyes. No one has ever looked at her this way before. “...Laura?” She asks quietly. 

 

One of Laura’s hands moves from hers and is placed reverently on Carmilla’s cheek. Laura’s thumb traces across her cheekbone. 

 

“Are you real?” Laura whispers to her. She still has that same look in her eye and Carmilla doesn’t know how to respond to that. “Is it really you? My little Kalla” Carmilla’s eyes widen when she hears that name. 

 

“What did you just call me?” But instead of an answer Laura smiles so brightly at her, it’s as if the light has finally seeped its way into the surrounding darkness. Laura places her other hand over Carmilla’s undead heart and whispers something before everything begins to fade away again. Carmilla thinks she hears Laura say something about her little light before she succumbs to unconsciousness once more. 

 

———————————————

 

The next time Carmilla wakes she can tell that something is different but she’s not sure what exactly is different yet. When she opens her eyes it’s not to finding herself in that nightmare land but to her and Laura’s dorm room. She can tell by the darkness outside that it’s still the middle of the night and that she is currently lying on Laura’s bed. Carmilla shoots upright and desperately looks around the dorm for the missing occupant of the bed. 

 

“I am here.” Carmilla looks over to where Laura is seated in her desk chair by the foot of the bed. She is facing Carmilla almost like she was keeping watch over her while she slept. “It was dangerous for you to enter my dreamscape.” It sounds as if Laura is chastising her for her actions, as if Carmilla had any say In the matter. 

 

“I wasn’t trying to cupcake, I just got sucked in involuntarily.” Carmilla knows she is becoming defensive, but after the emotional upheaval that is Laura Hollis she automatically reverts to her natural stony persona. “Why do I feel strange?” Carmilla still can’t shake the feeling that something is different about her. It feels like something heavy has been removed from atop her shoulders making it easier for her to breathe, and she doesn’t even need to breathe. Carmilla hasn’t felt this light since before she was killed and brought back as a vampire. It is an eerie feeling for Carmilla. 

 

“You had dark magic coursing through your body, most likely put there by Her to stop me from sensing you, so I removed it.” Laura states as if Carmilla has any idea of what she is saying. 

 

“What are you talking about?” Carmilla watches as Laura moves from her chair and sits beside her on the bed. The look from the nightmare land is still in Laura’s eyes when she looks at Carmilla. 

 

“I will explain everything in the morning when everyone is awake. Rest now.” Laura gently eases Carmilla down onto Laura’s bed and tucks a strand of Carmilla’s hair behind her ear. 

 

“How do I know you?” Carmilla whispers to her as she tries to fight her body from succumbing to the sleep it desperately wants. 

 

“Rest now, I will watch over you while you sleep, just rest.” Carmilla’s eyes finally close for sleep and just before she loses her fight to unconsciousness she hears Laura whisper one last thing. 

 

“I will always watch over you little Kalla..”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura regains her memory and starts to tell the gang about her origins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple chapters are about Laura’s past and how it connects to what’s happening at the school.

As the sun hits it’s apex in the sky, Carmilla’s consciousness slowly rises from the depths of its slumber. As a vampire Carmilla doesn’t have much of a peaceful sleep during the night but when she awakens she feels more rested than she has in centuries. One by one her senses tune themselves into her surroundings and she can hear hushed voices near the end of the bed she is currently laying on. 

 

Carmilla lifts her head and looks to where the voices are coming from, she can see both redheads crowding in front of Laura, where she has returned to sitting on the desk chair. 

 

“I am okay you guys, I’m still the same Laura Hollis, I am no more important than any one of you in this room. If anything you all are far more important than I.” At the end of that sentence Laura lifts her head and meets Carmilla’s eyes and Laura smiles at her. If Carmilla’s heart could beat she knows that it would’ve sped up at the sight of that smile being directed at her. Carmilla wonders when she became such a sap, and knows that it was when Laura somehow managed to get behind the steel walls she built to protect herself from feeling pain, or any unwelcome emotion really. Laura Hollis, the enigma wrapped in a little body with a history that is much more engrossed than Carmilla’s. 

 

“We’re sorry Laura, we are just worried about you, and also kind of excited. You know that we’ve heard every story about you passed down throughout the Perry witch history. Some of it seems so far fetched and unbelievable we never knew what was true and what was false. Or maybe it’s all true, your memory has been gone for centuries, so it’s kind of nerve wracking to finally get the true history from someone who actually lived it.” Laf and Perry finally stop hovering by Laura and begin to cross back over to Carmilla’s bed. Laura grabs Perry’s free hand while the other holds the talisman around her neck in a death grip. Laura pulls her back towards where she sits and stands to bring her into a tight embrace. Perry all the while still holing her necklace but also holding onto Laura with all her strength. 

 

Carmilla tries not to let herself feel possessive over seeing Laura hold someone in front of her but she knows she’s being ridiculous. Carmilla has noticed how her feelings towards Laura has changed since they first met. At first Laura intrigued Carmilla with the way she saw the world and herself. When Carmilla thought Laura was only a human she knew that something was different about her. The way Laura held herself and the presence she gives off is extraordinary and powerful. The only other being like that that Carmilla had ever met was her mother and Laura is the complete opposite of her mother. Where she uses fear and darkness to control those around her, Laura’s presence is gentle and warm, just being near her brings a sort of peace to ones mind. Carmilla doesn’t understand why she is drawn to Laura and she’s more afraid than she’s ever been in her entire life. 

 

She’s brought out of her thoughts when Laura pulls back from her hug with Perry only to gently hold her face in her hands. The look Carmilla sees in Laura’s eyes is so gentle and caring. 

 

“I am sorry you had to use your magic. I never wanted you to do something like that, especially for me.” Laura gently wipes a tear the escapes from Perry’s eyes. 

 

“You know I would do anything for you Laura.” Perry whispers in the small space between them and Carmilla wouldn’t have heard it if it wasn’t for her hearing. 

 

“And I you.” Laura smiles a small smile at her and allows her to go sit beside Laf who’s been silently watching the scene before them with pure love. Carmilla doesn’t know why. Laura sits back on the desk chair and takes in a deep breath and slowly releases it into the air. 

 

“Where should I start?” Laura asks directly at Laf. 

 

“How about a summary of your history so we can fully understand.” They suggest. 

 

“The thing about history is that it is always written by those who survive or those who have won. Not everything that is known to mortals is the real truth of history, most facts of life are biased at best. History gets distorted or exaggerated beyond truth. Gwen was always known for embellishing stories when she told them. I don’t doubt that most of what’s been told to you is the truth but not the whole truth or maybe even half the truth.” If someone was looking closely, they could see that Laura was growing anxious at the stares that the scientist was throwing at Laura, and Carmilla was that someone. She could tell by the way Laura was trying not to let her hands rub together, it’s something Carmilla noticed Laura doing when she was nervous about something. In this case, Carmilla was just relieved to see Laura doing something very Laura-like even after recovering her memories. 

 

Carmilla doesn’t know how to act around this new Laura. This Laura is a mystery, even more so than usual, to Carmilla and she doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing yet. 

 

“Well the best way to get to know someone is to start off with the easy questions. For instance, how old are you?” Laf asks as their first of many questions to be asked today. The scientist has always been secretly fascinated by the story that is Laura and they are finally going to find out the truth. Carmilla can’t help noticing Laura’s hand twitching again at the question. Even though Carmilla can tell that Laura is anxious, the red headed scientist is too invested in knowing the answer to notice. Carmilla knows Laura though, and eventually the scientist will ask something that Laura won’t be able to answer. 

 

“I’ve lost count over the years. Age isn’t really something that my people counted like mortals are known for doing. I’m immortal in every sense of the word, time has no meaning for me, so my age isn’t something that I or you could comprehend. If I had to make a scientific guess to sate your curiosity, I’d say I’m around 10,000 earth years old, give or take.” The room becomes utterly silent after that. Carmilla can’t even comprehend what she just heard Laura say. Carmilla is a little over three centuries and she could barely survive that, but 10,000 years? That’s just insanity, anyone would lose their minds being alive for that long. 

 

“That’s incredible, I mean 10,000 years old? That’s almost unheard of in the supernatural community. Most immortal beings I’ve heard about don’t even come close to being that old. You must have witnessed so much history over the years.” Laf is excitedly writing down notes in their notebook with important data. The data being Laura’s life. “When you say ‘my people’ who do you mean exactly?” Laf asks the question that’s been on all their minds for awhile now. 

 

“We didn’t have a name like most races, during the Ancient Greek period of history I started to refer to my people as the Elysians as a joke. So you may call them that if you wish.”

 

“How did your people, or the Elysians as you said, originate?” The pen Laf is scribbling with runs out of ink and they hurryingly pull another out of their pants pocket and begin writing again. 

 

“The same way as humans, just a long time before they were created.” Laura’s hands are now under her legs, so Carmilla can’t see them trembling. Laura knows they are getting closer to the part she doesn’t want to say, and she can feel Carmilla watching her, and Laura doesn’t want her to see her tremble. 

 

“So by evolution then? Just instead of evolving into a human, you became an Elysian?” Laura can’t help but start laughing. The human race is far more ignorant in this time period than they ever were before. Laura laughs for awhile and the others look at her like she’s crazy. 

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just Gwen must’ve really hid my history if that is what you truly believe to be truth.” Laura’s laughter dies away when she mentions her old friend. “I told her she didn’t have to keep it secret but Gwen was stubborn. She must’ve thought it was her way of protecting me from...it doesn’t matter.” Laura’s mind starts to drift somewhere it shouldn’t go and she can barely hear the scientist ask her another question. The room gets fuzzy as the shadows darken across the room. Laura doesn’t want to go to this place. 

 

Before she loses herself completely, Laura feels someone put their hand on her face, gently caressing her cheek. Laura unconsciously leans into the touch, seeking its warmth. The hand calms her until the room is steady again. 

 

Laura looks to her left and sees Carmilla has moved to the end of the bed next to where Laura is sitting. Carmilla removes her hand and Laura instantly feels cold again, but the look in Carm’s eyes calms her again. 

 

“Thanks Carm.” Laura gives Carmilla a shy smile that makes Carmilla squirm a little. 

 

“Sure thing cupcake.” Laura knows Carmilla’s defences are back up but she’s not upset by it. If anything, Laura understands more about Carmilla than anyone else ever could. When things get too emotional, she puts up her walls because the pain of being hurt or rejected by someone you care for, is far worse than any physical pain one could endure. Laura knows that pain far too personally. “Frankenstein, let’s give the cupcake a break on the twenty questions, yeah? You can finish your dissection of her life later.” Laura can see the guilt flash across Laf’s face but Laura is far too exhausted to chastise Carmilla for her rudeness. No matter if what carmila said is true or not. Laura knows it’s Carmilla’s way of showing that she cares, and Laura will never deny any form of it that Carmilla gives her. 

 

“I’m sorry if I’m being really invasive Laura. When I’m in research mode it’s kind of hard to stop.” Laura can still see the guilt on their face. 

 

“The Lafontaine family has always been full of brilliant scientists, so do not apologize for being yourself. My history is something that is exactly that, history. I may not like it, but it’s important that you all know it, so my comfort aside, I will tell it to you. It just might take me awhile to get to the end.” Laf seems to be relieved at that so Laura knows she said the right thing. Laf gathers their papers and data to take with them when they leave. 

 

“Thank you Laura, and we’ll come back tomorrow after classes if you’re up for that?” They ask as a question, leaving it up to Laura to decide on when she wants to continue. Laura is grateful to them for that but she knows the sooner she tells them everything the better. 

 

“Tomorrow is fine Laf.” Laura agrees and Laf smiles and gives a goofy salute before they walk out with a still silent Perry. Leaving Carmilla and Laura alone for the first time since Laura’s memory has returned. 

 

They look at each other for awhile, like they are trying to solve a puzzle that seems to be missing one piece. They want to solve it but are afraid of what the end result will be. 

 

“Are you really 10,000 years old? Cause I call bullshit on that.” Carmilla’s question breaks their tense silence. After the intense past few hours Laura can’t help but laugh at that question. She keeps laughing when she sees that Carmilla is smirking at her so Laura knows her question was made in jest. After awhile her laughter dies down to a small giggle. 

 

“I honestly don’t know, I told Laf a number because humans always want a number or name for something. So I gave them one. I could very much be a lot older than that, or younger I just don’t know anymore.” The laughter is gone and Laura can see the understanding in Carmilla’s eyes. Laura never wanted Carmilla to understand anything about her life. 

 

“Can I ask you something?” Carmilla hesitantly asks almost like she is afraid to know the answer. 

 

“You can ask me whatever you want Carmilla, I will never lie to you.” Laura replies with utmost sincerity. Carmilla pauses for a second, knowing her heart would be racing if she wasn’t dead, and gathers her courage. 

 

“Have we met before?” Carmilla finally asks. Laura had a feeling she would ask that. Laura knew that when she removed the blocking spell from inside Carmilla’s body that their connection would be reopened. Laura has been doing her best to mask it until she can tell Carmilla the truth but maybe Carmilla can still sense the connection anyway. Carmilla always was stronger than people said she was, but Laura always knew Carmilla’s strength. 

 

“Let me answer your question with one of my own. Do you know where you got that necklace you wear everyday?” Laura asks whilst pointing at said necklace. Carmilla seems confused by the sudden change in topic and also a little upset at the distraction. 

 

“Evading an answer is the same as lying you know.” 

 

“Please Carmilla, just indulge me a little.” Laura begs to the hurt girl in front of her. Laura may be taking a longer route to the answer but she knows that once this bag is opened it can never be closed again. Laura is also afraid that Carmilla will shut her out completely when she knows the whole truth. 

 

“Fine.” Carmilla bites out, she then picks up the anchor that hangs around her neck and looks down at it. Then she looks back up at Laura and goes back to being confused. 

 

“I’ve had this necklace for as long as I can remember. Even before I died I had it, but for some reason I can’t remember how I got it. It’s like trying to look through an ocean of water and only seeing a hazy image at the surface. I wear it everyday because it feels like ripping off a piece of my heart if I tried to remove it. Why would it feel like that if I can’t even remember how I got it?” Carmilla looks back down at the necklace hoping that if she stared at it long enough she might suddenly remember where it came from. 

 

“I had a feeling that would be the case.” Laura sighs. “She always did love to torture me.” Laura whispers to herself. “Your memory has been blocked, like mine was, but only parts of it.” Carmilla finds Laura’s gaze and Laura knows Carmilla is starting to put more pieces together. 

 

“We’ve met before haven’t we?” Carmilla’s gaze is unwavering. Silently asking for the absolute truth. 

 

“Yes.” Laura answers immediately. No more stalling. 

 

“When?”

 

“When you were human.”

 

“How old was I?” Carmilla continues questioning. 

 

“You had just been born.”

 

“You were there when I was only a day old?” Carmilla seems to be taking the info well, but Laura knows that looks can also be deceiving. 

 

“Yes.” Laura answers anyway. As long as Carmilla asks her something Laura will always tell the truth. Even if the truth will hurt her, because Laura can’t lie to Carmilla. 

 

“Why were you there?” 

 

“To kill you.” Carmilla flinches at this fact. 

 

“To kill me? Why?” Her voice gets a little shaky now. Laura’s hands are trembling again. 

 

“Because I thought it would be the only way for me to die.” The truth comes out of Laura’s mouth for the first time and she finally realizes how far she had fallen back then. Before Laura can dwell more into the past Carmilla starts speaking again. 

 

“How would killing me as a baby kill you? I didn’t officially die until I was 18, so what did you grow cold feet at killing a baby but an 18 year old was fair game? Is that it?” Carmilla shouts and gets off the bed and starts to pace around the room a little. 

 

“I did not kill you Carmilla! I would never hurt you nor did I ever hurt you! I couldn’t do that, I would never do that!” Laura goes over and grabs Carm by the shoulders to stop her hurried pacing. “The second I saw you, I knew that I would never hurt you. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and I swore that I would protect you even if it killed me.” Laura can see the tears threatening to fall from Carm’s eyes and Laura pretends not to see them for Carmilla’s sake. “And It did.” Laura drops her hands from Carm’s shoulders and puts some space between them, even if Laura doesn’t want to. She can tell Carmilla needs some space to collect herself after Laura’s outburst. Carmilla goes back to looking at the anchor on her neck. 

 

“Did you give me this necklace?” Carmilla still hasn’t looked up at Laura but she doesn’t need to to know that Laura will continue to answer. 

 

“Yes, it was a present for your tenth birthday. You always wanted to see the ocean, so I took you and I made that for you so you could always remember that day.” Laura can feel her control on her emotions lessening. “When I gave it to you, I told you that if you ever needed me, to hold onto it and say my name, and I would be there immediately.” Carmilla eventually looks back up at Laura and Laura is afraid of what she sees in Carm’s eyes. 

 

“Were you there when I died?” This is the part that Laura really doesn’t want to relive. 

 

“Yes.”

 

“Who killed me?” This is it, the part that can never be closed again. 

 

“Another Elysian, she hates and blames me for the death of her lover, so if I ever care for anyone she finds and destroys them. I don’t know how she found out about you, I took so many precautions and had so many barriers placed around you so no one could find you. Yet, somehow she still did.” Laura’s eyes close when the memory of that day starts to seep into her mind. 

 

“Who is the other Elysian?” And there it is. The question that Laura has dreaded since this conversation began. 

 

“The woman who despises me, and killed you, is none other than the same woman that you call Mother.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura tells more of her story and fair warning some of it is pretty dark. Her life is not pleasant

After the bomb that Laura dropped onto Carm’s lap about her mother, Carmilla sped out of the room and didn’t return until the next night when Laf and Perry came over after their classes ended. She didn’t even spare a glance at Laura, she just came in and sat on her bed, staring out the window. Laura wasn’t offended by this, she knew that Carmilla had a lot to sort through. All the new information that Laura gave her would be enough to throw anyone into a tail spin. Laura made sure to keep up her masking spell so Carmilla could have as much privacy as she needed. Carmilla didn’t need a constant reminder of Laura’s presence while she dealt with the information. 

 

Laura didn’t even try to sleep after Carmilla left the room the night before, she was worried about her and how this new information would affect their relationship. Laura also couldn’t help but dwell on the fact that she has her memory back now. The good, the bad, and the completely horrible ones she could live without. She may not wish to relive her old life, but she feels more whole than she’s felt in a long time. 

 

“How many Elysians are there?” Laf’s voice breaks Laura of her spiraling thoughts. 

 

This is the part of Laura’s life that’s the hardest part for her to relive. She knows she can’t lie to her friends, and they deserve an explanation. 

 

“Besides myself there is currently only one other.” Laura isn’t trying to be vague but she’s finding it harder to concentrate the longer Carm doesn’t look at her. She knows Carm is listening, she just wants to look into her brown eyes and see what she’s hiding in them. 

 

“So why were you created and what happened to the rest of your people?” Laf is trying not to push too hard today but sometimes one needs to ask the hard questions in order to get the result one wants. 

 

“Before I begin explaining the why and how of it. I want to ask you one question and I don’t believe I’ve asked this before, but do you believe in the existence of Gods?” Laura directs her questions to the three others in the room, who are looking at her curiously sans Carmilla. 

 

“Do you mean mythical Gods? Like Zeus and Odin, those kinds of Gods?” Laf asks from where they are sitting. Laura can feel the excitement pouring out of them as they scribble notes down on their pad of paper. 

 

“Precisely.” Laura replies when no further questions are asked.

 

Laura can’t help but glance at Carmilla from where she sits. Carmilla’s face is guarded though, and Laura knows from experience not to push her beyond her boundaries. 

 

“I’m not sure if I believe them to be real, I mean sure there is a bunch of lore for people to believe in such a thing, but in this era, talk of multiple Gods is all but extinct. For lack of a better term.” Laf’s hand flies across the paper they are writing on. What they are writing Laura has no idea. 

 

“I have met many mortals throughout time and most of those I’ve met are highly influential. Religious belief was sought by all mortals in the early stages of civilization because the Gods influence was easily accessible. Mortals were prone to praising and worshiping beings they believed to be all powerful. Something that the mortals could never hope to be.

 

“I believe that over the years, as civilization flourished, mortals stopped needing the Gods interventions. Some even despised them for their meddling in mortal affairs. That’s why I ask the question on if you believe or not, it helps me get an idea of how much has changed over time.” 

 

Laf scribbles more notes onto their notebook and Carmilla finally looks over at Laura for the first time since she returned. 

 

“How does believing in Gods relate to who you really are?” Carmilla asks and for some reason Laura hears some hesitation in her voice. Almost as if Carmilla might be afraid of knowing. Laura looks Carmilla in her beautiful brown eyes, that she has missed for so long, and gives her a small smile. 

 

“It relates because I was created by Enki the God of creation.” Laura says to the others and everything stops for awhile. Laf’s scribbling fingers still, and the air in the room grows tense. 

 

“As in the Sumerian God from the first known human civilization?” Laf asks in slight disbelief, out of all the possibilities that they thought Laura’s history would be, being created by Gods was never something that crossed their mind. 

 

“Yes, the Sumerian Gods were the very first Gods recorded in history by humans. They were known for the creation of everything we see, and everything we believe is true about the world. Heaven, earth, the sky and the stars were all created by the Sumerian gods. They each had their own domain where they resided.” Laura begins by explaining some of the early myths in the Sumerian history. 

 

“Enki was one of the most well known and powerful Sumerian Gods. He was known for many things, but one of the biggest was his creation of what is now known as humans.

 

“What most historians, anthropologist or any mortal creatures don’t know is that Enki created a race a long time before he ever created humans. He created them for the sole purpose of being the Gods’ warriors. Their own personal guards and servants. 

 

“Enki created a warrior for each God in their image, they were then trained in all forms of combat and taught every way of killing one can think of. The warriors were then put into an arena of sorts. If they survived the Gods would gift them with an affinity that was affiliated with whichever God they were assigned. If the warrior assigned to a God was killed in the arena, that God was then deemed as a lesser God to the others, for they could not keep their own warrior from being killed. 

 

“In the end only five warriors remained at the end of the arena, three women and two men. They were granted their immortality along with a certain gift. Delondra was the strongest warrior among them, she was Enki’s warrior with a gift for water, and she became known as the leader of the Gods warriors. She was praised for being ruthless and bloodthirsty in the midst of battle and the other warriors highly respected her. When the other gods asked Enki to create humans he dispatched the remaining five warriors to become their protectors. When he sent the warriors he also enacted the sacred laws in which all warriors had to live by. 

 

“Over the years of silently watching over mortals, the warriors grew envious of their ability to have their own children. So the warriors begged Enki to let them have their own children who would then be the next generation of warriors. Enki agreed to allow each couple to have up to three children of their own. The children would have to be raised in the way of the warriors and only until they were deemed fit, would they be granted their immortality. If they died before then, they were not worthy of being known as one of Gods warriors.” Laura takes a break in telling her tale, the only thing she could hear was Laf scribbling to write down everything she said and their breathing. It made it easier for Laura to tell her story when she focused on one of her senses, and on nothing else. 

 

“Were you one of the child warriors?” Laf asks after a long pause in talking. 

 

“Yes and no, Delondra being the leader of the warriors, despised the fact that her lesser warriors were bearing children. She saw it as a sign of weakness and vowed to not have any children of her own. 

 

“Enki being the mischievous God he could be, ignored his protégés wish and used her blood to creat a warrior child in her image. He then left the child with Delondra and ordered her to teach the child to become the next leader of the warriors. 

 

“The child was loathed by Delondra and put through grueling training. This child was different from her fellow child warriors for she did not wish to fight. She loved stories and adventures and wanted to discover all the mysteries of the universe. A naive notion to have for one destined to kill. 

 

“One of the sacred laws that each warrior lives by is if a child warrior is deemed unworthy by their mentor they are to partake in what was known as the Trial of Kur.”

 

“Kur, as in the underworld?” Laf interrupts and Laura is somewhat grateful for the break. “So basically the trial was a death sentence?” Laf always was good at reading between the lines. 

 

“Precisely.” Laura affirms Laf’s claim. “The child was killed by Delondra thus sending her soul to live an eternal damnation in the Land of No Return.” 

 

“Did you know the child before they were killed?” Laf asks and Laura waits for their intelligent brain to put the pieces together. Laura sees when the lightbulb goes off in their head. “Holy shit, the child was you wasn’t it?” 

 

“A long time ago yes, I was the child created by a God to become the next leader of a race of warriors.” It sounds like complete insanity when said out loud, but Laura’s life has never been a normal one. 

 

“How are you alive if your mother basically killed you and sent you to hell for being different?” Laf seems to realize what they said and tries to backtrack. “Uh, I mean, not that you are different, Uh..” Laura lets out a small laugh at seeing their panic.

 

“Its okay Laf, there are worse things to be than being called different and Delondra wasn’t my mother. I may have been created with her blood but we were never a family. She made that clear to me every time she saw me. The one time I did call her my mother, I couldn’t walk for a week after that.” Laura looks to Perry where she’s sitting with Laf on her bed and sees her smile sadly at her. Her and Perry have a lot more in common than one would think. “When I was roughly about ten earth years old Delondra declared me unfit and stabbed me in the chest with her greatsword, killing me and sending my soul into the trial of Kur.” 

 

“How did you return from the Land of No Return?” Laura is pretty sure Laf is on their third notepad by now. 

 

“When I awoke in Kur I was completely alone, surrounded by a darkness so thick you could easily choke on it. There was not a speck of light and absolutely no sound. Just the dark as my only companion. I didnt know how much time had passed while I wandered in the dark, most likely decades. Madness consumed my mind and I thought nothing could be worse than living in the dark forever but I was naive in thinking that was the worst Kur had to offer. 

 

“When I was found I was brought to the God of war’s domain, where I became his slave. For eons he tortured, abused and shaped me into his own personal weapon. A weapon crafted with only one purpose, to kill anything in its path. He would pit me against his pet monsters, where I sometimes had to fight with my bare hands in order to win. Losing was not an option to him, one cannot die in Kur when they are already dead but he knew how to make someone wish that they could.” Laura remembers everything from her time with the god. Even in the midst of all that anger and pain she will always hear his voice as a reminder of who she really is deep down. 

“I lost my sense of self, after so long of being His prisoner I couldn’t remember the person I used to be. All I knew was killing and fighting and surviving. After eons of being his slave he sent me on a quest to bring him more souls to torture. I obeyed because I was his soldier to command and refusal wasn’t something he allowed in his presence. On the quest I was ambushed by his other pet slaves that hated me for being his favorite plaything. One of them cut off my left leg and arm, while the others took turns stabbing me hysterically. So I laid there and waited for their enjoyment in the violence to lessen and eventually they grew bored of me not reacting to their strikes. 

 

“One can grow accustomed to pain after eons of torture at the hands of a god, so their lesser violence was nothing in comparison. They left me there in the darkness of Kur, bleeding out but never dying. Alone for the first time since I arrived in kur, and the closest I had felt to death, almost peaceful.” Laura closes her eyes and can picture the serenity she felt lying in her own blood, allowing the darkness to consume her mind. When she opens her eyes she can see the others watching her with disbelief. When Laura’s eyes connect with Carmilla’s, she can feel the warmth of their connection fill her veins. She knows the masking spell is still up but just knowing that Carmilla is here is enough to put Laura’s mind at ease. 

 

“I was eventually found by someone dressed in a black cloak, who picked up my scattered body parts and brought me to a domain in Kur I had never been to before. The god of war practically forbade me from ever entering this part of Kur and I learned later why. This domain belonged to Ereshkigal, the Goddess of death and Queen of Irkalla.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backstory continued.

“So you’re saying that you’ve actually met the goddess of death who rules over the underworld?” Laf proclaims in disbelief. 

 

“Yes, she is my mother.” This is the first time that Laura has ever told anyone this. Thinking about her mother makes her ache for her loving embrace. 

 

Laf’s mouth is hanging wide open so Laura reaches over and shuts it for them in jest, receiving a slight bat of their hand. 

 

“After everything I’ve said so far is that truly so hard to believe?” Laura asks the gobsmacked group. 

 

“I mean wouldn’t that be a bad thing for the goddess of death to be someone’s mom? Wouldn’t they be cruel and evil? Not that I’m implying that she’s a bad mom or anything...” Laf stops talking after shoving their foot in their mouth, hoping Laura didn’t find what they said offensive. When Laura starts to chuckle quietly they sigh in relief knowing they didn’t inflict harm. 

 

“Why do humans assume that just because a god is affiliated with death that they are evil? My mother feels more for those who have died than most Gods would about anything. She is both life and death, the beginning and the end of all things, because where there is life there will always be death. One can’t exist without the other. Of course I didn’t know any of this when I was brought to her, I had heard the god of war talk about her as if she were a plague to his very existence. He claimed she was a ruthless and heartless being that didn’t deserve to reside with him in Irkalla, but the woman I met wasn’t like that at all.

 

“When my body was put back together and healed she came to me in the room where I had been brought to. I was preparing myself for an even crueler captor, if what the god had said about her was true then I was in for even worse treatment at her hands. She reached out to me and I braced myself for a strike but instead she brushed her fingers through my hair. The feeling so foreign I didn’t understand what she was doing. She just sat on the bed where I lay and gently untangled my unruly hair with her fingers and hummed a song to me. It was the first time in my long existence that someone touched me with care instead of pain.” Laura’s heart yearns at the thought of her mother. The woman that guided Laura into the person that she is today. 

 

“She spent years teaching me to not have to kill anymore. She gifted me a guardian to help guide me and with whom I became very close to. We became a family, kin with similar circumstances wanting to belong somewhere.” Laura casts a wistful glance towards the necklace on Carmilla’s neck, knowing full well where her guardian has been residing since her memory loss. “I learned everything from my mother, from how to eat, to how to speak, even experiencing emotions that weren’t derived from pain, and eventually she taught me how to love. She slowly brought me back to the person I used to be before I was killed and turned into a weapon. When I smiled for the first time she told me that it rivaled the sun’s light and that’s when she gave me my name. I hadn’t had one given to me in the years since I was created, warriors tend to be named after proving their worth, and I never received that privilege.” Laura won’t even think about some of the things she was called before receiving her name. Especially whilst in the clutches of the god of war. 

 

“Is Laura not your real name?” Laf asks curiously. 

 

“Laura is a nickname for Lorelei, which is what Gwen called me after we first met because of how I appeared to her. It was also a way for her to keep my identity a secret from the rest of the witches.” 

 

“What’s your real name then?” Laura looks over to Carmilla who’s body has finally been slightly turned towards Laura although she’s looking at Laura strangely. 

 

“My given name is Aya.” Laura didn’t look away from Carm as she said this, hoping that name might bring up some of Carm’s blocked memories. 

“So why change your name? What was Gwendoline trying to protect you from?” Laura reluctantly looks away from Carm not seeing any change in her eyes after saying her true name. She knows she shouldn’t get her hopes up about Carm’s memories returning any time soon but it’s impossible for her not to. 

 

“She was protecting me from the person who slaughtered my entire people. Elysians may be immortal in every way, but we can be killed. There are only two ways in which an Elysian can be killed, one is by another Elysian, and the second is with the sword of Hastur, also known as the sword of death or the death sword. Which is a sword meant to kill all who oppose it, including immortal beings. It was a sword created by the god of war using his own blood to cause death to anyone it touches. It was a highly protected secret He kept, I only knew about it because he tested it on me many times. 

 

“I informed my mother of the sword and the other gods had it taken from the god of war where it was supposed to have been destroyed.

 

“My mother knew that I would need to return to my people eventually to fulfill my duty as a warrior. She gifted me her personal sword and armor, gave me one last sad smile and sent me back through the gates followed by my guardian. I passed through the seven gates from Kur back into the land of the living. It was a surreal experience to become so used to being dead that being alive again felt like being in a different skin. 

 

“I soon learned that time moves differently in the land of no return, for when I arrived back with my old people only a couple of decades had passed on earth. My time in Kur was well into the millennium of years. Not much had changed since I was last there, all the other warrior children had passed their trials earning their names and immortality. I was greeted with surprise and mostly respect. Returning from the underworld becomes something of an impossible feat for a warrior. So my fellow warriors welcomed me back with great exuberance. I hadn’t ever met any of the other warriors in my little time of being alive before my trial and I soon grew very close with three of the other warrior children. 

 

“The strongest among the warrior children became my comrade in arms, a best friend as a human would say. She was almost my match in every and all forms of fighting, she was a truly gifted warrior in the art of assassination and stealth. We never used our abilities in a match because it would dishonor a fight with a warrior. I had my magic and she was gifted with shape shifting abilities she gained from her father. She then later bonded with Nasha, who was the strongest male of the children, his muscles were as big as the heavy sword that he wielded with deadly accuracy. He was also very kind and had a soft heart for humans. They balanced each other perfectly and were unstoppable on a battlefield. Nasha later introduced me to his twin sister, Amare.” Just saying her name out loud causes Laura to abruptly stop talking. She hasn’t uttered her name aloud since... Laura casts her gaze towards the wall by her bed, collecting herself for this next part. 

 

“She was my exact opposite, where I was alway calm and quiet. She was like a chaotic storm that disrupted my life every chance it got, and I was always thankful when she did. She was my first love and we bonded ourselves to one another.” Laura can still see the smile that Amare had on her face the day they were bonded. She was the one to ask Laura to be bonded in their immortal life and Laura had never felt so much love for another being than she did that day. She knew her mother was with her that day for Laura could feel her love in her heart. 

 

“You were married?” Laf asks after a brief silence. 

 

“A bonding isn’t like a mortal marriage. When warriors bond themselves to one another, you are binding together your very souls. That you will fight together, love together and die together, in this life and the next.” Laura doesn’t dare look Carmilla’s way after revealing this part of her past. A first love is always the hardest to move past, and it took Laura centuries for her to be able to live with the pain of what happened to her back then. 

 

“As in reincarnation? Is that something your people believed in?” Lafontaine can sense Laura’s thoughts are drifting as the story progresses and they know the only way for Laura to get the whole story out is to continue to ask her questions. The sooner Laura is finished the better it will be for her to recover from her reliving these memories. Laf wishes there was a way for them to help their friend not have to feel the pain they are experiencing from telling her story. They also know that Laura is probably glossing over a lot of details to spare them the reality of some of her life. 

 

“Yes it was. I didn’t believe in it for a long time but then I met someone who changed my mind and now I know that a soul can be reborn anew in a different life.” Laura knows what Laf is doing and she appreciates the kindness of her friends. It’s been a long time since Laura has had someone to rely on in this way. She tended to keep to herself knowing it was easier if she didn’t care for anyone and have someone care for her in return. “We have gone a little off track in topic. I’d like to finish this story sooner rather than later.” Laura needs to finish this up so she can gather her wits about her and deal with all these emotional events. Regaining her memories was like reliving everything all over again. She needs time to sort herself out and begin to feel like herself again. Even if she doesn’t even know who she is anymore. 

 

“You’re right. So what happened after you were bonded?” Laf continues their questioning. 

 

“Years later the humans discovered our existence somehow. I’ve never been able to find out exactly, but if I had to guess it was because of one of the Gods who despised the Gods warriors. Especially if that gods warrior was killed in the arena and became a lesser god. 

 

“Nasha and I were sent on a mission to help a village that was rumored to have been attacked by some sort of creature. We were the best to send against an unknown creature because of my magic and Nasha’s brute strength. When we arrived at the village it was completely abandoned and untouched by harm. Almost like everyone who lived there just vanished without a trace. Before arriving I had cast a spell to keep us from being seen by humans, unknowing that they possessed godly objects given to them to allow them to see us. 

 

“As we investigated what happened in the village, Nasha came upon a fallen man lying face down in the dirt with blood pooling on the ground around him. Nasha knelt down and turned the man over onto his back and next thing I knew there was a sword sticking out of the back of Nasha’s neck. The human that was assumed to be dead had hidden the sword beneath them and waited for one of us to come near. I knew right away that the sword the mortal used wasn’t a normal sword at all. No mortal weapon could ever inflict harm upon a warrior. 

 

“I managed to grab Nasha’s body after the human wrenched the sword out of his neck and I hurriedly teleported back to our home to warn them of what happened. 

 

“When I arrived back and the other warriors saw me holding Nasha’s body they immediately drew their weapons on me, believing it was I who had killed him. When I showed them the memory of what happened to Nasha they released me and that’s when his bonded found him. I told her of what happened and she went straight to Delondra to beg her to gather the warriors to slaughter the humans who had dared kill her warrior. Delondra refused her request because it is one of our sacred laws to never kill a human being, no matter the reason. 

 

“In a rage, Nasha’s bonded did the most unspeakable act a warrior could ever commit. She cast the forbidden spell on herself.” Having been quiet throughout her entire tale, Perry lets out a loud gasp that causes the others in the room to jump at the sound. Laura knew that Perry figured out the rest of this story from her reaction. Only a powerful witch like Perry would know what would happen after using that spell. 

 

“The forbidden spell is a spell created by the god of war to create the most heinous creature to ever exist for his collection. The reason it is forbidden is because of its unpredictability when cast. The god of war didn’t realize the cost for enacting the spell was a person’s very soul. 

 

“She cast the spell at the cost of her soul and became the very first demon to ever set foot in the living world.” Laura looks over to Perry who is paler than Laura has ever seen her before. 

 

“She became the first vampire.” Perry whispers with a shaky breath. 

 

“Yes. She became unstoppable against the warriors. One by one she ripped my people apart, limb from limb. I had never seen so much blood and carnage before and I had lived in Kur most of my life. She moved so quickly no warrior could react fast enough before she either tore them to pieces or ripped their hearts out and ate them. Even Delondra was inconsequential compared to her wrath. She batted her down like a fly and killed her with her own sword, which is considered dishonorable to kill a warrior with their own weapon. 

 

“She saved Amare for last. It wasn’t till all my other people were dead at my feet that I realized she wanted me to watch everyone die and not be able to do anything about it. When she grabbed Amare I tried to run to save her but my speed was nothing compared to hers. She ripped Amare’s heart out in front of me and threw her body on ground. It felt like my heart was also ripped out of my own chest. I fell to my knees as she advanced on me. She hadn’t uttered a single word since her transformation but when she approached me she started to laugh. I knew I was going to die but I didn’t care. She then sunk her teeth into my neck and drank my blood til I didn’t have any left and then broke my neck for good measure.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla deal with the aftermath of Laura’s story

“How did you survive?” Laf questions after a lengthy pause. No one knew how to respond to hearing the tragic end of Laura’s people and how she had to watch even her own wife be killed by someone who used to be her friend. Laf always believed that Laura was the strongest person they had ever met and after hearing her heartbreaking tale it’s only strengthened their belief. 

 

Laura snaps out of her head, mentally shaking the image of her people’s last moments from her thoughts so she can finally finish this talk. 

 

“Being the daughter of the goddess of death has its advantages that even I was unaware of at the time. For all intents and purposes I should’ve died that day with the rest of my people, and with Amare, but I didn’t. My mother bestowed her own abilities to me before I returned to the living. She probably never told me because she knew I would’ve refused her gifts at the time. I hardly wanted to leave her side let alone be alive, but she believed that I had a far greater purpose than being trapped in Kur for all eternity. 

 

“When I awoke again after being killed by the woman who slaughtered my people, my own best friend, it was to find myself in a coffin buried in the ground.” Carmilla’s body stiffens at this and Laura wishes more than anything that she could go over to her. “I felt myself return to the state of mind I adapted for myself while being tortured by the god of war. I slowly gathered my strength and eventually blasted my way out of my prison using my magic. I made a vow that day that I would seek vengeance against the woman who took everything from me, but when I emerged from my grave she had already gone into hiding. I’ve been searching for her ever since so that I may finally put my people’s spirits to rest and find some sort of peace for my own.” Laura finishes her story with a slight hardness to her voice. She can still remember how she felt emerging from her own grave while the blood of her people had still been staining her skin. It was the darkest Laura had ever gone in her long existence and it wasn’t til centuries later that she started to question her own vengeful mission. Feeling her emotions becoming too much for her Laura abruptly stands up from her chair that she felt like she’d been sitting on for days and turns to leave her room. 

 

“I need to clear my head.” Laura then leaves the room and doesn’t start running until she’s finally out into the open air. She runs and runs and runs. Trying to outrun her thoughts, her emotions, and all the things that have haunted her and were forgotten til now. Her breathing intensifies as she tries to run even faster away from her problems if only even for a minute. 

 

 

———————————————

 

 

Carmilla sat quietly throughout Laura’s entire retelling of every excruciating part of her life. She had spent the entire night trying to blame Laura for her own death and subsequent resurrection, but the more that Carmilla learns about Laura the more she realizes that they are more alike than she would like to admit. Carmilla just wants someone to blame for the reality of her own life and the most convenient person to blame would be Laura, but even trying to do that feels wrong or like her own heart refuses to allow her to have any sort of negative emotion towards her. 

 

Seeing the look on Laura’s face after she fled the room felt like someone put their hand on her heart and started squeezing. Carmilla isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do with all the new information Laura said and all the emotions she’s experienced since meeting Laura start slowly rising to the surface. Carmilla wants to make like Laura and just run from all of these conflicted feelings but she knows she can’t run anymore. She needs to face whatever may come even if it kills her. She needs to do this for herself and for Laura. 

 

“How is she Perry?” Laf asks the quiet redhead next the them after the group processed everything that they heard from Laura. 

 

“I don’t know. She’s blocking my connection with her.” Laf widens their eyes in shock at that. 

 

“Laura has never blocked you from connecting with her before. This is worse than I thought.” Carmilla sees the gingers share a weighted look between them. 

 

“What are you wonder twins going on about?” Carmilla questions them. 

 

“Perry’s talisman is made by Laura’s magic so it is connected to her and Perry can sense when Laura’s emotions become unstable and vise versa. Perry has had it since she was born and Laura has never blocked the connection from her before and the fact that she’s doing it now means that Laura doesn’t want Perry to feel whatever it is she is feeling right now. The only thing we can do is give Laura time to process this on her own. Knowing her she’s probably running as far away as she can but she will also return when she’s ready, she always does.” Laf has been slowly gathering all the notebooks they wrote in during their investigation. They don’t know how Laura can even still have a shred of humanity left in her after everything she has experienced. Before and after her memory loss. It’s almost too much for one person to handle, let alone have to live with everyday. 

 

“You two may be content with waiting for her but I’m not.” And before the ginger duo can talk Carmilla out of it she runs out of the dorm and goes off in search of Laura. Not knowing what state she might find her in when she does. 

 

 

—————————————-

 

 

Carmilla doesn’t know if it was instinct or something else that helped guide her to where Laura was but she decides not to question that right now. 

 

She finds Laura in a clearing far into the woods that reside on the south side of campus. She expected there to maybe be some carnage or evidence of spells being casted in anger. Instead she finds her on her knees with her head to the sky and her hands placed on her knees. Her eyes are closed and her body is completely still. Carmilla can’t help but be reminded of the dark place in Laura’s mind where she found her in this same position. Only this time Carmilla feels like she’s invading the space of a wild animal that may attack her upon approach. 

 

“Do you blame me?” Carmilla shouldn’t be surprised that Laura knows she’s here but she still flinches when she speaks to her. “For what happened to you?” Laura clarified her question and it takes Carmilla some time for her to reply. 

 

“I don’t know. I want to blame you for the way my life turned out because then I wouldn’t have to blame myself. It’s easier that way, but I’ve never been one to take the easy way out.” Carmilla doesn’t move closer to her, still unsure if Laura needs space or just someone to share her thoughts with. 

 

“I blame myself.” Laura says with such sadness it practically pierces Carmilla’s undead heart. “You should hate me as much as I hate myself. She killed you, everything I’ve ever loved or held dear she’s brutally ripped from my life and had me watch as the light slowly faded from their eyes. I see them everyday, their light dimming and their blood on my hands as she laughs at my torment.” Laura finally opens her eyes and looks across the clearing and directly into Carmilla’s own eyes. “Your death broke me.” Laura drops her eyes to the ground and looks as if the slightest breeze might sweep her away. Her body caved in and fingers are clutching at her knees, her knuckles white with strain. Then it dawns on Carmilla what Laura is actually saying. 

 

“Your memories...the witches who found you said you were in a ransacked castle, trapped in a magical spell. The castle was my old home wasn’t it?” Carmilla doesn’t know how she didn’t figure it out sooner. Laura practically told before she even got her memories back but she could’ve never guessed that her and Laura had any kind of history together. Carmilla still doesn’t know the full extent of it and she’s still debating on if she wants to know the rest of it. She’s terrified of what she might learn. 

 

“She found out about you and set a trap that she knew I couldn’t break out of. Your guardian sent me a warning but it was in vain. I had to watch as she...” tears start to escape from the corner of her eyes. “She threw your body on the ground at my feet and I couldn’t even touch you. You just stared up at me with lifeless eyes.” The tears begin to fall faster and more frequent. “Her minions left after that and she must have took your body with her at some point. The trap I was in showed me an illusion that it was still on the floor at my feet. I was stuck in that trap for 26 years, with your body still looking up at me. The witches found me and by that point I had already gone mad. I cast a spell which would’ve killed anyone else if they had cast it but instead it wiped my mind.” Laura slowly brings herself took look back up at Carmilla and can see that she also has been crying. “I’m so sorry Kalla, I’m so so sorry.” The dam breaks inside of her and she can no longer contain everything she’s been suppressing for centuries. It all comes pouring out in harsh screams and uncontrollable sobs. 

 

She begins to pound her fists on the ground as hard as can, the skin healing as fast as it breaks, until she can feel arms wrap themselves around her trying to contain some of the heartache that keeps pouring out. The arms grow tighter when she tries to fight it at first but then an old instinct returns and she brings her own arms around the person holding her. Laura can smell the familiar scent of Carmilla and squeezes her closer to herself, burying her face in her neck. 

 

“It’s okay Laura, it’s okay.” Carmilla whispers to her. “It’s going to be okay.” And Carmilla really hopes that that is true.


End file.
